MayaMeow on-line webcams for YOU!

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1. The friends

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2. A few months later, in the fall, she gets a text from a number, which turns out to be someone she had sex with. She says she didn’t remember having sex with him but the text “jogged her memory” & when I tell her to tell me the truth, she says she remembers three more people, bringing the number up to fifteen in total. This time, when I ask her if there are more sure says “probably, there are at least fifteen.” She says again that she wasn’t lying, just “couldn’t remember”.

   For some reason (foolishly!) I believe her & forgive her again. It is nude to trust — but I do my best. At this point, I realize what she said about waiting two months between guys can’t possibly be true, & when I ask her about it, she says she “probably just underestimated”, & corrected herself, saying when she was on Tinder, she was actually going over to a new guy’s house about every two weeks, having one-time sex almost every time. I ask her again, if there is anything she needs to tell me. She says no.

   The month after that she tells me she had tested positive for an STD, which she passed on to me. She hadn’t been tested for this specific STD before our relationship — I ask her if she was using condoms when she was having casual sex with multiple new strangers every month & she said only very rarely. This kind of bothers me, as I do not judge her past sex life, but giving me an STD is different. Again, I ask her if there is anything else she wasn’t been truthful about. She says no, she's told me everything.

   In December, she admitted on text she had gone over to “a couple or more guys houses” in spring 2022, gotten “fingered by at least one”, says “there might be more” but “doesn’t remember” She claims she didn’t lie but just forgot that it happened in spring. I ask her again, point blank, if she's been telling me the truth & she says yes. Then, I ask her if it was true that she had a “long break from men” & she says she met a guy on Tinder in the late spring, after we first talked & before we got serious, & she went over to his house & he fingered her. I ask how it’s possible she’s remembering it now, nine or ten months after it happened, but not one or two months after it happen & she says she doesn’t know why, she just can’t remember. At this point, basically everything about her past has turned out to be a lie.

   A few more months go by, & by January, after we had been together eight months, it is so very hot for me to believe anything she says about her past. I then ask her if she was using hookup apps during the spring, when she previously said “not really”. Turns out, she was. She said the reason she told me “not really” is, quote, “I meant not really because I wasn’t using it a lot like I did in the past”.

   At this point, in February, it feels like she maybe finally came clean with everything hopefully about her past. She told me she had sex with at least fifteen men, of whom at least 12 were one-time, only of whom at least 13were the first time they met. The only other two men she didn’t have sex with right away were from when she was much younger, in high school. She admits she was talking to men before right we met, “a week or two before” & using Tinder. She lied about all of it. When I ask her why she lied about taking a long break from men, her first answer is “I forgot.” I really want to believe her, but it’s so difficult because she shamelessly lied to my face over & over again for most of our relationship. I find it nearly impossible to believe she forgot these things right after they happened but conveniently remembers them almost a year later. I feel like I can’t trust anything she says about her past.

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   I've never been jealous of my exes’ pasts, but with her it is different. I think it’s due to the fact that she lied. I've never cared about my partners’ respective past sex lives before, but that fact that she's lied about it so much makes me have to ask questions & makes me think about it, which grosses me out & makes me feel bad. She had had sex with fourteen or more people before she turned twenty-one. I don’t judge promiscuity, & it is all her choice, but it is not something I’m used to or something I’d choose for myself, & it does show that we value sex differently. The other is that I'm the only person she’s ever waited to have sex with, ever. Every SINGLE OTHER MAN she had sex with since she was eighteen, she had sex with the first time she met, within a few hours of meeting. With me, she waited weeks. This makes me feel less desirable. Why would she only wait for me? She said it is because she actually cared about me & liked me that she waited, but that makes absolutely no sense to me. It is backwards to have sex with people you don’t care about or like but to wait to have sex with people you do like & care about.

   The jealousy part for me is mostly around the fact that more than a dozen other men, whom she supposedly didn’t like or care about, had sex with her a few hours after having met, & she didn’t care — she saw all but three of them only one time. She wouldn’t do this with me — her choice of course, but it still makes me feel less desirable & attractive that she only waited with me. She's also as jealous, if not more, or me. She's jealous when I get approached & hit on at parties, she's also very jealous of my past too, even though there are not nearly as many people. I've pictures of three people I’ve had sex with on my Instagram account — two ex-girlfriends & an ex-friend I had sex with for months (the ex-friend is only in group photos & it wouldn’t be discernible that I had sex with her from the photos). To see the photos, you would have to intentionally scroll back years, & dozens of posts. The photos are old — like prom photos from high school & from the years before I met my current girlfriend. They are still there because many of them contain photos I like of myself traveling, or other cool things. For example, many of the posts are slideshows of ten photos where only one has an ex in it.

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