With all the difficulties of dating and finding someone when monogamous, the idea of finding someone who is bi, interested in both of you and also not someone either of you know seems very unlikely.
But nothing happened, so what does her being attractive have to do with it? Also he didn't break up with you because of one incident, it was an entire relationship of jealousy and distrust.
Do you really think that is a healthy relationship?? Take a step back and look at it from a different prospective. Would it be okay for you to treat someone like that? For anyone to treat anyone like that? It’s not healthy and he needs therapy if you ever want to work these problems out. Or get used to this kind of behavior and treatment and stop hoping for things to get better cause they clearly won’t. You’re walking on eggshells around him just so he won’t go punching holes in the walls or worse. Everything you’ve written on here sounds like a bad situation. And if you’re looking for relationship improvement, it will only ever come from personal improvement first. And if he doesn’t give two shits to even try to address his temper, short fuse and things he needs to work on, it will not get better or work. A miracle isn’t just going to happen, it takes effort which from your post, I only see you doing so he doesn’t get aggressive with you. Instead of working on his own behavior problems. It hasn’t gotten “better” just because now you do everything in your power not to upset him. That’s not improvement on his part.
Call cps and get out of the situation. CPS will have a field day with the family allowing him near their children but also, he’s a child predator. Surely he won’t be allowed to reside in a household children go to or even live! in?
I think she’s stuck on the “we should have to” idea. As while we could afford the car, it would delay our saving for a down payment. Thank you for the reassurance, I definitely feel guilty but don’t want to sacrifice my job happiness.
I made the mistake of doing that and fuckin hell, I regretted it before a week has passed! That level of uselessness and incompetence was infuriating, that's just shitty parenting done by his folks. Nobody wants to have to basically babysit an adult and teach them how to do the most basic things that they should know already at the age OP is at, like household chores and shopping for groceries. Someone who hasn't had to lift a finger won't even think to do some of the things that is necessary to keep the house clean and will only do unnecessary stuff that adds to the load because they're used to their mommy picking up after them. Makes me wonder what he intends to bring to the relationship by moving in with her when he won't even make more than the minimum of effort to do anything for himself without someone holding his hand or just doing it for him. I'd be seriously worried about weaponized incompetence in the future or just permanent 'blindness' to everything that has to be done. The girlfriend is definitely the smart one, hopefully she'll stick to her decision and not make the mistake of bending and making the mistake I made.
OP, did you grow up getting hugs and love from your family? I would hazard to guess no based on this post. No hate, I didn’t get a lot of love growing up. Our society also places a huge emphasis on sexual intimacy, to the point that I think a lot of people don’t know that human intimacy doesn’t need to be sexual. I think parents often learn that when they become parents (at least, that’s one of the ways I learned). It sounds like your gf grew up in a very loving household and can’t help but spread the love (in non romantic ways).
It still wouldn’t hurt to talk about it though. Just come at it from the perspective of someone trying to learn.
I just know he may see it that way, as his ex used to withhold affection and sex apparently. I’m not getting in to that specifically though, that’s a whole ass problem in itself – and one I have zero facts for.
But yeah it shocked me that he was seemingly genuinely frustrated at me saying no.
She doesnt even have financial obligations. She lives at home. How is she financially vulnerable?
He’s not painting it like shes a full time working woman, hes not asking her to go half, he just wants some level of reciprocation. Like covering a dinner here and there. Or grabbing groceries once in a while.
Pain is definitely a limiting factor, but cost is going to be as well. Artists aren't back room and cheap anymore. They are real business people offering real talent for real money. Tattoos are a deeply personal thing. If the art is beautiful you might even enjoy it over time. I have a tattoo and ex wife had a complete breakdown over it at first. Eventually she stopped seeing it. One thing that might help you is to take an interest is artist selection which effect the quality of the artwork. He should see someone with a reputation. There are several with national prominence. A full body tattoo should be done by a true professional.
Forget your purse when you leave for work and unexpectedly come back for it. See what you find when you surprise them!
I hope you’re enjoying life and keep kicking ass!
Sameeee
With all the difficulties of dating and finding someone when monogamous, the idea of finding someone who is bi, interested in both of you and also not someone either of you know seems very unlikely.
But I suspect I'm just too sheltered…
But nothing happened, so what does her being attractive have to do with it? Also he didn't break up with you because of one incident, it was an entire relationship of jealousy and distrust.
Do you really think that is a healthy relationship?? Take a step back and look at it from a different prospective. Would it be okay for you to treat someone like that? For anyone to treat anyone like that? It’s not healthy and he needs therapy if you ever want to work these problems out. Or get used to this kind of behavior and treatment and stop hoping for things to get better cause they clearly won’t. You’re walking on eggshells around him just so he won’t go punching holes in the walls or worse. Everything you’ve written on here sounds like a bad situation. And if you’re looking for relationship improvement, it will only ever come from personal improvement first. And if he doesn’t give two shits to even try to address his temper, short fuse and things he needs to work on, it will not get better or work. A miracle isn’t just going to happen, it takes effort which from your post, I only see you doing so he doesn’t get aggressive with you. Instead of working on his own behavior problems. It hasn’t gotten “better” just because now you do everything in your power not to upset him. That’s not improvement on his part.
Your dad is amazing and I’m so glad you have him
I dated a guy briefly with a panty fetish definitely wasn't the weirdest I've heard of. Only do it if you are comfortable and okay with it.
Call cps and get out of the situation. CPS will have a field day with the family allowing him near their children but also, he’s a child predator. Surely he won’t be allowed to reside in a household children go to or even live! in?
Then take space, so you don’t take it out on her
Here we go with people overusing buzz words again….
I think she’s stuck on the “we should have to” idea. As while we could afford the car, it would delay our saving for a down payment. Thank you for the reassurance, I definitely feel guilty but don’t want to sacrifice my job happiness.
Have you let him know all this?
I made the mistake of doing that and fuckin hell, I regretted it before a week has passed! That level of uselessness and incompetence was infuriating, that's just shitty parenting done by his folks. Nobody wants to have to basically babysit an adult and teach them how to do the most basic things that they should know already at the age OP is at, like household chores and shopping for groceries. Someone who hasn't had to lift a finger won't even think to do some of the things that is necessary to keep the house clean and will only do unnecessary stuff that adds to the load because they're used to their mommy picking up after them. Makes me wonder what he intends to bring to the relationship by moving in with her when he won't even make more than the minimum of effort to do anything for himself without someone holding his hand or just doing it for him. I'd be seriously worried about weaponized incompetence in the future or just permanent 'blindness' to everything that has to be done. The girlfriend is definitely the smart one, hopefully she'll stick to her decision and not make the mistake of bending and making the mistake I made.
OP, did you grow up getting hugs and love from your family? I would hazard to guess no based on this post. No hate, I didn’t get a lot of love growing up. Our society also places a huge emphasis on sexual intimacy, to the point that I think a lot of people don’t know that human intimacy doesn’t need to be sexual. I think parents often learn that when they become parents (at least, that’s one of the ways I learned). It sounds like your gf grew up in a very loving household and can’t help but spread the love (in non romantic ways).
It still wouldn’t hurt to talk about it though. Just come at it from the perspective of someone trying to learn.
Not only is that a really fucked up thing to do to people in general it’s a great way to ruin a relationship.
I just know he may see it that way, as his ex used to withhold affection and sex apparently. I’m not getting in to that specifically though, that’s a whole ass problem in itself – and one I have zero facts for.
But yeah it shocked me that he was seemingly genuinely frustrated at me saying no.
How do I meet these people. Honestly. Where.
She doesnt even have financial obligations. She lives at home. How is she financially vulnerable?
He’s not painting it like shes a full time working woman, hes not asking her to go half, he just wants some level of reciprocation. Like covering a dinner here and there. Or grabbing groceries once in a while.
Pain is definitely a limiting factor, but cost is going to be as well. Artists aren't back room and cheap anymore. They are real business people offering real talent for real money. Tattoos are a deeply personal thing. If the art is beautiful you might even enjoy it over time. I have a tattoo and ex wife had a complete breakdown over it at first. Eventually she stopped seeing it. One thing that might help you is to take an interest is artist selection which effect the quality of the artwork. He should see someone with a reputation. There are several with national prominence. A full body tattoo should be done by a true professional.
Boyfriend problem