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Date: September 21, 2022
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I think your coming at this thinking that the BF's objecyion is that he doesn't want OP's dad telling him what he can or can't do. I think the BF's actual objection is more that it should be OP's decision to make. The idea of BF talking to her dad, while traditional, is rooting in some seriously sexist logic, the 2 men in her life sitting down to basically negotiate as if they're transferring a piece of property. “You own it now, but I'd like to take over ownership in the future”. That may have sense when women couldn't do much to support themselves and would be screwed if the relationship fell apart, but that's not the case anymore. So, I totally see BF's point here; it's just a gross tradition that he's not comfortable participating in.
That's just who she is. It sounds like she's done a pretty good job of explaining how and why she cannot provide this for you. If that's something you need in a partner, which it seems you do, then it's time to part ways. You're just not compatible.
Hmm, guy 8 years older and in a different stage of life being controlling. Stop me if you've heard this one before.
Well how does one deal with the associated sadness of being apart at such great distances now that we met. There is a definitive emotional component to this. That is a legitimate problem for me. It hurts not having him here.
No, your mother is not right. She is an AH.