If it is really just about consent for you, you truly have it already. If you “pick a bad morning,” she'll (hopefully) just say, “No,” and you can stop. Maybe discuss that with her beforehand (“Hey, please say, 'no,' if I pick a bad morning.). But it is much more likely that she'll be thrilled. It sounds unlikely you'll pick a bad morning from the sound of how much she likes this fantasy.
I had a similar situation with a partner who had sexsomnia (a sleep disorder where you touch others sexually and sometimes even have sex in your sleep). I obtained permission to let them do things to me in their sleep and see how far they'd get. We both considered that experience to be consensual.
Well it is 4 am EST. Probably not a lot of traffic here yet.
But it really, really concerns me how many of the comments here don’t see this as a problem. Like he’s not allowed to do what he wants with his own body, he has to do what she wants regardless of his own desires. And on his BIRTHDAY! It’s… honestly, it’s really creeping me out. Like, i generally do not care for the “oh if the genders were flipped” thing because i feel like gender adds a cultural context to some behaviour that can’t really be reversed easily. But can you imagine if a woman came home from work and her husband started yelling at her because he wanted something from her that she didn’t feel like providing?
Sometimes I get the vibe that there are people sorting by new on relationship advice subreddits so they can give advice that validates their own manipulative behaviours.
I think you leave your fiancé because you aren’t mature enough for a relationship. Your not a safe partner. Break up with him and go have fun. Let him be.
he doesn’ seem to care too much about what you have to say. He decides everything. You moved far away to live with his family without any support.
I think you should try to put money on the side in case you want to move back to your country and he doesn’t want to. I don’t think he wants to move back. Don’t put too much money in the old house he wants to fix. He wants to settle there. If you want to move back it will be hard to get your daughter out of the country.
Is your family or friends be able to give you money if you need some to leave?
Maybe I’m too dramatic but it sounds to me now that you’re there he wants to keep you there.
If it is really just about consent for you, you truly have it already. If you “pick a bad morning,” she'll (hopefully) just say, “No,” and you can stop. Maybe discuss that with her beforehand (“Hey, please say, 'no,' if I pick a bad morning.). But it is much more likely that she'll be thrilled. It sounds unlikely you'll pick a bad morning from the sound of how much she likes this fantasy.
I had a similar situation with a partner who had sexsomnia (a sleep disorder where you touch others sexually and sometimes even have sex in your sleep). I obtained permission to let them do things to me in their sleep and see how far they'd get. We both considered that experience to be consensual.
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Well it is 4 am EST. Probably not a lot of traffic here yet.
But it really, really concerns me how many of the comments here don’t see this as a problem. Like he’s not allowed to do what he wants with his own body, he has to do what she wants regardless of his own desires. And on his BIRTHDAY! It’s… honestly, it’s really creeping me out. Like, i generally do not care for the “oh if the genders were flipped” thing because i feel like gender adds a cultural context to some behaviour that can’t really be reversed easily. But can you imagine if a woman came home from work and her husband started yelling at her because he wanted something from her that she didn’t feel like providing?
Sometimes I get the vibe that there are people sorting by new on relationship advice subreddits so they can give advice that validates their own manipulative behaviours.
Yea, your gf and her buddy are creeps.
We had this dog for at least 7 years. We want the best for him, without risking our and other people's safety.
I think you leave your fiancé because you aren’t mature enough for a relationship. Your not a safe partner. Break up with him and go have fun. Let him be.
he doesn’ seem to care too much about what you have to say. He decides everything. You moved far away to live with his family without any support.
I think you should try to put money on the side in case you want to move back to your country and he doesn’t want to. I don’t think he wants to move back. Don’t put too much money in the old house he wants to fix. He wants to settle there. If you want to move back it will be hard to get your daughter out of the country.
Is your family or friends be able to give you money if you need some to leave?
Maybe I’m too dramatic but it sounds to me now that you’re there he wants to keep you there.
Is he abusive in any other way?
keep contact with family and friends.