This shouldn't even be an afterthought. Don't question if you're being controlling. You're not. When your bf gets behind that wheel impaired he's not only putting himself at risk but those around him too. There is not safe way to do this unless he doesn't drive period. I think you need to educate yourself on the effects and consequences of drinking and driving.
Maybe I don’t see it, but what I meant was going through that list…
Despite his father being verbally/emotionally abusive he doesn’t have a low sense of self worth. He isn’t fearful of what might happen next. He isn’t codependent. He doesn’t resist positive change. He isn’t afraid of being abandoned as far as I can tell.
He generally wouldn’t tolerate abusive behaviours from others (I guess except FIL)
He doesn’t generally have difficulty standing up for himself or asserting boundaries (I guess except with FIL)
He doesn’t neglect his own needs for others. He doesn’t have an innate feeling of shame as far as he as ever expressed or given me reason to believe. He doesn’t seem to crave external validation. He tolerates conflict and is usually able to resolve issues in our relationship fine even when we disagree (except for this one)
In that, you are completely wrong. It's all based on an assessment of the properties value (I'm not criticizing, it's something you really only learn when you own property). Typically, the government overvalues the land and charges more proportionally, than it's worth.
This is so challenging a situation even under ideal conditions. This sounds both horrible, or potentially awesome at the same time. Like the plot of a murder mystery, or a comedy.
Honestly it sounds like your BF is real good person how you describe him. I would be perfectly honest with him, and preemptively go to therapy. Decide if this arrangement is going to work or not, whether it’s goi g to happen or not. You are both equal50/50 parts of this relationship.
Correct but we have no way of no way of knowing that because OP doesn’t know and couldn’t say. So the only one suggesting it as a possibility is you, I played along with your line of thinking and gave my two cents on the situation if she did have feelings like you suggested
This shouldn't even be an afterthought. Don't question if you're being controlling. You're not. When your bf gets behind that wheel impaired he's not only putting himself at risk but those around him too. There is not safe way to do this unless he doesn't drive period. I think you need to educate yourself on the effects and consequences of drinking and driving.
I love this comment, thank you. This actually makes a lot of sense. Just trying to figure out how to go about this mess :’)
Maybe I don’t see it, but what I meant was going through that list…
Despite his father being verbally/emotionally abusive he doesn’t have a low sense of self worth. He isn’t fearful of what might happen next. He isn’t codependent. He doesn’t resist positive change. He isn’t afraid of being abandoned as far as I can tell.
He generally wouldn’t tolerate abusive behaviours from others (I guess except FIL)
He doesn’t generally have difficulty standing up for himself or asserting boundaries (I guess except with FIL)
He doesn’t neglect his own needs for others. He doesn’t have an innate feeling of shame as far as he as ever expressed or given me reason to believe. He doesn’t seem to crave external validation. He tolerates conflict and is usually able to resolve issues in our relationship fine even when we disagree (except for this one)
He is not overly agreeable.
In that, you are completely wrong. It's all based on an assessment of the properties value (I'm not criticizing, it's something you really only learn when you own property). Typically, the government overvalues the land and charges more proportionally, than it's worth.
Is there anyway you can ask the mother herself?
This is so challenging a situation even under ideal conditions. This sounds both horrible, or potentially awesome at the same time. Like the plot of a murder mystery, or a comedy.
Honestly it sounds like your BF is real good person how you describe him. I would be perfectly honest with him, and preemptively go to therapy. Decide if this arrangement is going to work or not, whether it’s goi g to happen or not. You are both equal50/50 parts of this relationship.
An organic what?
Grocery store? Farmers market?
Correct but we have no way of no way of knowing that because OP doesn’t know and couldn’t say. So the only one suggesting it as a possibility is you, I played along with your line of thinking and gave my two cents on the situation if she did have feelings like you suggested