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MournStarr X Stoney, y.o.
Location: Colorado, United States
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Date: December 5, 2022
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Doesnât matter. He deserves to know
You could have kids taken away if you repeatedly put them in view of her violent behavior.
You've only been dating for a few months, IMHO, too soon to move in together. A sleepover while in “honeymoon stage” is going to be exciting/fun. Once you actually on-line together, figure out how to share chores, manage a budget, discover how you work through conflicts, have times that are sometimes boring, etc, its not all sunshine and rainbows. Give it more time
It sounds like she was very good at just being a manipulative person. Right now she has emotionally manipulated you into thinking that this was your fault. She has done it your entire relationship. You said it. She has no emotional intelligence. It just isn't who she is.
Breathe and grieve. Your feelings are valid. It will get better.
????? Go read the post and parent comment again? Like how can I help you understand this? The proof of burden is on you in this situation because youâre the one denying that itâs misogyny.
If youâre seriously lacking the brain cells to gather why itâs misogyny, I can break it down for you.
1) marriage, historically, is about having a man own a woman legally, which is where the tradition of adopting the husbandâs last name comes from. OP and hubby deciding not to do that ruffled feathers of FIL who believes that should be the way. Marriage is not inherently bad, this attitude about it is the bad thing that OP is avoiding
2) FIL is so offended by the DIL (and son) having autonomy in the relationship by changing names, heâs ready to disown ALL OF THEM. Thatâs a misogynist thatâs digging his heels all the way in. Is it more painful to let a loving woman, man and child have a different name, or lose all three because they broke a sexist tradition? Apparently the latter.
3) take a look at the comments. People are suggesting to compromise, stoke the fatherâs ego just enough, save the relationship. Why? What if the kid is trans? What if they went to identify by different pronouns when they grow up? What if theyâre not straight? âTraditionalistâ is a fancy word for bigot.
Do your research.
Don't let him pressure you into doing something that you're not comfortable doing.. Tell him if HE wants to go get a car then he can but you're not going to be a part of it, if he gets pissy then you know where you stand with him, he's seeing you as a wallet, someone he can coerce into signing for him since his credit is tits up.
Hanging there. If you feel you need some therapy get some, and being in the wrong relationship at a time like this is not helpful. I hope you have lots of good family and friends around you. And here's to an update in a couple of months or when you feel like it to say that things are looking better for you. I think we're all rooting for you.