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Date: October 30, 2022
She’s scared that you’re going to grow out of her
It sounds like you wanna cheat on your bf. If you’re gonna cheat on your baby’s father and break up your entire family that’s the most selfish thing you can do.
OMG ?
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Yeah he's cheating and trying to gaslight you.
Think about why you feel guilty. Explore that. You can’t be with someone just because you don’t want to make her sad (which I don’t think she is). She is manipulating you and minimizing her actions in all this.
If she was serious about getting back together, she would start right away with showing you she is trustworthy. To me, it feels like she wants to keep her options open until she gets back.
If you're already this stressed and feeling grief you know what to Do. Even if your bf tells you that it's not a big deal, it will always be at the back of your mind.
You guys can either go to therapy and have a long talk where you discuss everything sontheres no doubt left in either mind where the future and future expectations lie or you guys can embrace that you're different and move on.
Ultimately the choice is both of yours because you're adults and knownwhat your wants and needs are. And what you can and cannot compromise on and feel comfortable with.
Only hang out with your buddy without the girl and make every excuse to not be in her presence if you do have to go over his house bring your girl and use her as a shield. Also for the love of god control yourself there are no excuses if you make a clearly wrong decision to cheat.
You need to train the dog, the dog values his attention right so if you’re on the sofa and cuddling and she starts barking or growling he needs to ignore her / put her out the room for a few minutes. When she is quiet she can come back in.
Only reward her with attention when she is quiet and well behaved. I suspect this very spoilt dog is used to getting her bad behaviour rewarded every time she barks at you. This will probably be quite engrained by this point so you will need to be consistent.
You will need your boyfriend to commit to the training and if he doesn’t then honestly you need to leave. The dog is affecting your relationship and your boyfriend isn’t taking that seriously or trying to fix it so why stay for more of the same?
She ignores you and you have a fight? There’s something missing there. If she needs space to decompress, have you tried leaving her alone for an evening?
His ex-wife had a huge issue with their relationship too? And now he’s no longer married but still “friends” with her? That shows you what his priorities are. Sure the marriage could have ended for a lot of reasons, but you know for a fact that his inappropriate relationship with this girl was one of them and it apparently didn’t deter him.
The fact that he goes on the offensive every time you bring it up is another red flag. A normal guy in a normal friendship with nothing shady going on would understand your discomfort (especially f that same situation contributed to his divorce earlier!) and work on proving it’s nothing; instead he explodes to get you to drop the subject.
I don’t know that they’re fooling around, or that they ever will. I DO know that he considers his relationship with her, whatever that relationship is, more important than his relationship with you, though.
There were times I did that too but none of that ever led to a good relationship. Looking back it’s pitiful and funny that I thought that desperately screwing would lead to one, and I want to grab these people on Reddit and yell at them that the best way to a monogamous relationship is to be monogamous from the get go.