She doesn’t care about you or her daughter. She’s only reaching out bc it didn’t work out with the new guy and her visa is expired. I wouldn’t help her, she came to you for herself, that’s it. See a lawyer, if you haven’t already, to protect you and your daughter. Let her figure her visa/deportation issue on her own. Later in life, tell your daughter the truth and make sure she knows that you aren’t why she got deported (if that’s what happens). Not to be mean to her mother but a) she will not trust you when she learns the truth b) so that her mother can’t reach out to her and twist the truth to make you look like the bad guy.
I'm guessing the real issue is that Kate has a problem with your asian girlfriend blackfishing by tanning so dark. Her dressing up as a character with dark skin was just an opening to address an existing problem. I'm black and I can totally see having someone like your gf in the friend group and not wanting to make a big deal about it but this being the straw that broke the camel's back. But without talking to Kate I can't say for sure.
The fact that neither of you are black explains why neither of you think there's any problem with this but I can definitely understand where Lana is coming from. Take a look at cosplay examples – the only time people generally change their skin color as part of the costume is when the character has something like pink or blue skin. Black people don't lighten their skin to match Japanese characters for these events nor do light skinned folks darken their skin for black characters. If I was Lana I'd be thinking about the optics of your gf showing up like the girl in this photo, and it's not great.
You left this part out “I am sorry that I accused you of being part of what happened. I should have known that you would never play a part of disrespecting me, yourself, and our marriage. “
Seeing someone is the beginning of a romantic relationship. There is a higher interest than a case where someone has sex or flirts with no strings attached or desire for commitment. Examples, a guy hooks up with some one at a bar is not necessarily seeing the person and may not speak to them again. Friends with benefits who get flirty, sometimes sexual when not in committed relationships but are not dating, have no desire to date or kindle anything out of it. If a guy screws his friend liz sometimes before having an exclusive lady, he is not seeing or otherwise dating liz, no romantic interest, it was their sexual nonsense time. As for myself, these type of situations do not appeal to me but many people are like that.
I’d say, gf, I don’t think this dynamic of us living together is working out. At this point in my life I need my own space. You need to find your own place to online.
I would fight tooth and nail if one of my children was graduating medical school (or ANY program really) and the other haphazardly decided to get married that day.
You deserve better sweet girl.
Check out r/momforaminute sometime, I think you’ll like it there.
Everyone here is saying that OP should pick the Graduation.
Honestly I think that is a mistake. Its not that great to do this all by yourself – I am not sure it will be a cherishable memory.
OP you said your brother is the golden child but at the same time you love him very much. Sounds to me like that resentment clouds your judgement and you feel like you need to skip his wedding because this is such a special day for you.
What is love to you then? What would you do for a person that you love? Is your graduation a sacrifice you are willing to make to see your brother at this immensely special day? Isnt that a celebration of yourself aswell to see him? It made me cry to watch my best friend read her vows. It filled me with so much joy! What a wonderful experience it was!
You can still celebrate your Graduation! Invite the people you love. Make a party out of it! Now you will be able to make two unforgettable memories instead of one.
Yes! Brother avoids taxes, worker's comp and unemployment benefits for BF. BF will be screwed in the long run, no proof of employment for credit and on future job searches!
You wanna date someone who blames you when the truth comes out? Surely not
She doesn’t care about you or her daughter. She’s only reaching out bc it didn’t work out with the new guy and her visa is expired. I wouldn’t help her, she came to you for herself, that’s it. See a lawyer, if you haven’t already, to protect you and your daughter. Let her figure her visa/deportation issue on her own. Later in life, tell your daughter the truth and make sure she knows that you aren’t why she got deported (if that’s what happens). Not to be mean to her mother but a) she will not trust you when she learns the truth b) so that her mother can’t reach out to her and twist the truth to make you look like the bad guy.
Terminating rights is not something you can just do. Someone else would have to legally adopt the child.
I'm guessing the real issue is that Kate has a problem with your asian girlfriend blackfishing by tanning so dark. Her dressing up as a character with dark skin was just an opening to address an existing problem. I'm black and I can totally see having someone like your gf in the friend group and not wanting to make a big deal about it but this being the straw that broke the camel's back. But without talking to Kate I can't say for sure.
The fact that neither of you are black explains why neither of you think there's any problem with this but I can definitely understand where Lana is coming from. Take a look at cosplay examples – the only time people generally change their skin color as part of the costume is when the character has something like pink or blue skin. Black people don't lighten their skin to match Japanese characters for these events nor do light skinned folks darken their skin for black characters. If I was Lana I'd be thinking about the optics of your gf showing up like the girl in this photo, and it's not great.
You left this part out “I am sorry that I accused you of being part of what happened. I should have known that you would never play a part of disrespecting me, yourself, and our marriage. “
My daughter's husband is eight years older than her – they are extremely well-matched. (Downvote me if you must, guys, it's true).
Breakup, and report this to the police.
Seeing someone is the beginning of a romantic relationship. There is a higher interest than a case where someone has sex or flirts with no strings attached or desire for commitment. Examples, a guy hooks up with some one at a bar is not necessarily seeing the person and may not speak to them again. Friends with benefits who get flirty, sometimes sexual when not in committed relationships but are not dating, have no desire to date or kindle anything out of it. If a guy screws his friend liz sometimes before having an exclusive lady, he is not seeing or otherwise dating liz, no romantic interest, it was their sexual nonsense time. As for myself, these type of situations do not appeal to me but many people are like that.
I’d say, gf, I don’t think this dynamic of us living together is working out. At this point in my life I need my own space. You need to find your own place to online.
Okay so a beautiful women you’re madly in love with throws herself at you, you expect me to believe that you would turn down sex with her?
I would fight tooth and nail if one of my children was graduating medical school (or ANY program really) and the other haphazardly decided to get married that day.
You deserve better sweet girl.
Check out r/momforaminute sometime, I think you’ll like it there.
Everyone here is saying that OP should pick the Graduation.
Honestly I think that is a mistake. Its not that great to do this all by yourself – I am not sure it will be a cherishable memory.
OP you said your brother is the golden child but at the same time you love him very much. Sounds to me like that resentment clouds your judgement and you feel like you need to skip his wedding because this is such a special day for you.
What is love to you then? What would you do for a person that you love? Is your graduation a sacrifice you are willing to make to see your brother at this immensely special day? Isnt that a celebration of yourself aswell to see him? It made me cry to watch my best friend read her vows. It filled me with so much joy! What a wonderful experience it was!
You can still celebrate your Graduation! Invite the people you love. Make a party out of it! Now you will be able to make two unforgettable memories instead of one.
What would your dad want? That's the real question, it's not your money or your brother's yet.. so …..
It just sounds like catfishing. That’s not fair to her potentially matches.
Yes! Brother avoids taxes, worker's comp and unemployment benefits for BF. BF will be screwed in the long run, no proof of employment for credit and on future job searches!