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Date: October 4, 2022
Your boyfriends a fckn asshole. Dump him.
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I'd appreciate a more constructive reply. When I'm drowning in thoughts suggesting me to just pick one side won't fix much.
OP, your boyfriend isn't who you think he is.
Start paying attention to his actions instead of his words.
He says he loves you, but then he shows you that he literally doesn't care if you die and would rather you be scared and alone in the hospital than change his plans.
Ask yourself, “If this had happened to him, how would I have acted?” “If he cared for me the way he claimed to, what would he have done?”
LD relationships are REALLY dangerous, because you have no idea who you are dealing with but it's super easy to feel like you do. He acted like a caring and considerate partner until you moved to him (isolating yourself from your support system) and now he treats you WORSE than most people treat their pets.
He intentionally CHOSE a partner who was inexperienced because most women his age would recognize these HUGE red flags and leave him instead of believing his words and manipulations.
Most women his age KNOW that early in the relationship everyone is on their best behavior and if a guy is this indifferent to your needs this early on, he will ONLY get worse the longer you stay.
This isn't your fault, this is an older man intent on manipulating an inexperienced young woman into accepting a relationship where he doesn't have to bother pretending she's his equal, or that her needs and feelings are as important as his own.
I'm sure when he decides to pretend he cares he is wonderful and everything you could ask for, which just proves he KNOWS how you want to be treated and is capable of doing so. By leaving you to fend for yourself when you needed help, he has proven he doesn't care what happens to you.
Please, please go home and cut all contact. Make room in your life for someone who treats you like the irreplaceable person you are. When you break up he will try to lie and manipulate you into staying with excuses for his poor behavior/explanations for why it was really your fault and then promises to change.
This man is a liar, liars make the best promises. Don't believe him, years from now you will look back on this moment and think about how your decision to stay or go determined the trajectory of your future.
You'll either look back with pride at having the strength to leave a relationship where you weren't loved or valued, at breaking free from his manipulation and saving yourself from a lifetime of pain and degradation or you will look back and wish with every fiber of your being you could go back and make a different choice before he crushed your spirit and turned you into a shell of the person you were before he snuffed out your sparkle and joy.
You deserve SO much better. You can't trust him, you can't count on him. When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. Stop convincing yourself he is who he pretended to be when you were LD. I'm sorry this happened to you.
The only advice you’re going to get here is 1. compromise (he tried therapy or you try letting him sleep around) or 2. divorce. But you already stated that neither of you are willing to really do anything to help solve this issue.
Oh so not only did you cheat, but you fucked someone else without a condom?! How long ago? How do you know your mistress isn’t knocked up?
I agree with your wife. It’s hurtful to marriages and promotes the business of human trafficking. Porn addiction is harmful to your brain and intimacy. An average of 3x per week is a reasonable number for a woman her age and in her position (under high stress/fixed income). I really feel like you need to compromise here.
Not arguing that. I wonder though if it has to do with the sleeping or feeding situation. Unless the baby is colicky, she shouldn't be waking up that often.
Buying a house with him, unless is under your name, is a horrible idea
Someone could be cat fishing her as him. Just saying. But yea he is married and doesn’t need to be chatting with out her women.
I appreciate you reframing that for me. I keep saying to myself “it shouldn't be about money” but I guess ultimately it isn't…. its about the goals I have for my life.
Why would I be mad? This exchange is simply pixels in a pattern on a page. Being mad is manufactured by thoughts that something is a threat. Since I know you’re no threat whatsoever I’m not mad. Are you mad? I hope not. What sense does it make to be mad at pixels in a pattern on a page?