My sister gets this way when she hasn't eaten and it's fucking annoying as all hell. I'll just leave when she gets like that, like carry a granola bar or something dude it's not my fucking problem
A. You've only been together for three months. Dating/relationships as a whole is always about confirming current compatibility. If she's no longer compatible with you, it will suck but it will be par for the course, especially given how college relationships tend to turn out.c B. You can be concerned somewhat but don't run yourself ragged over this. If she can't control herself under the influence then that's something she will need to handle on her own for herself. If she violates the boundaries within the relationship then you just have to accept that and move on. You can mourn for the relationship of course but , in the end it will be what it is.
Overall you're entering complicated Territory but ultimately either you two will make it or you won't and partying is just a small aspect of that. People don't get dependent on alcohol unless it's genetic or they have a mental/emotional matter that drives them to it, which means that as t the end of the day, the partying wouldn't be the issue. She would be.
But overall being aware of these things doesn't mean you have to stress about them
Most people have narcissistic tendencies to some degree. Most celebrities score pretty highly on the narcissistic chart.
Being a narcissist doesn't inherently make you a bad person. Especially if they're self aware and are attempting to work on it/manage it.
It's a spectrum with different levels.
Also, you have three kids with him. Been with him for years. You mean to tell me you've never noticed his tendencies?
Idk what your relationship is like, but if he's mostly a decent partner and a decent father, there's zero reason for you to want to take his children away.
This is easily something you can continue to work through.
However, based on some other comments- I have my doubts this post is even real. It's very similar to another post I saw recently, basically saying the exact same thing.
He may have friends 4-5 years older than him self, som when you are 38 he will be 53 with friends almost 60. They begin to have health issues and talk about them, retirement plans etc.
Some of them could have children your age, and well they could just think about you like a child of their own.
Your bf ( or husband) is getting full of life, wants to relax more, no going out as much as a 38 year old might want.
People make different decisions. OP is making a decision I would never make. You can argue about that all afternoon, you can whine that you think I can't possibly know what it's like to face adversity, but you literally have no fucking idea what you're talking about.
I’ve had a couple long term relationships where this happened, a 3 year and a 2 year.
basically after the honeymoon period expired these resentments began to grow and fester.
The only thing I can say with any certainty from my perspective is that I failed to communicate with my respective partners about the things that I was resentful about.
I either: A) thought it would solve itself with time
Or
B) was unable to articulate it in an accurate way
Regardless I have substantial regrets about the way both of those relationships ended. Neither were pleasant.
I know you mentioned you’ve voiced said concerns, but the key thing is that if you’re not getting the results and reciprocity you are looking for you need to come at it from a different angle, seek external help, or move on.
These problems clearly aren’t going to resolve themselves (as I have learned)
Sometimes people truly just aren’t compatible. However if you love this person and genuinely want to fix things then I’d encourage you to enlist the help of some sort of counselor or relationship therapist.
I felt like I had exhausted both my partners’ and my own ability to resolve conflict and I simply continued on with the status quo and that was definitely not the right move.
Wether you or your boyfriend realize it you’re at a crossroads in your relationship.
I hope things work out for you, but your oarorcuslr situation is very pertinent to my own experiences and I wish I could’ve done things vastly different than I did.
Oh please……. “t's just a favor! It's not a sexual act! Just let me stick my dick in your mouth when I ask you to, it's no big dealllll it's like a massage! Nothing sexual!”
What a load of crap lmao. Is he going to do the same for you? Let's say you start asking him randomly for oral sex and leave it at that without any other sexual act. Just to get you off even when he is not feeling it. Is he going to do it? He claims that oral is just like a massage and a favor right? Nothing sexual! Ok then let's see if he will give you that “massage” whenever you ask.
I actually did not know anyone, but since buying the sailboat I have met a bunch of cool boat people that have been giving me lessons. So I've made new friends. I've been keeping it sort of a secret. I also work at a marina while I'm finishing college.
Anyways she made a post on her Facebook of her on a sailboat, so I was going to say that I thought that was pretty cool so looked into getting one because I saw she liked sailing. I thought it was so cool.
Her ex did that for a living. Heck though I live in a harbor town so almost everyone either owns boats or takes trips on them.
Yikes… yeah I can understand now….
My sister gets this way when she hasn't eaten and it's fucking annoying as all hell. I'll just leave when she gets like that, like carry a granola bar or something dude it's not my fucking problem
Fuck no. Is that clear enough? ?♂️
A. You've only been together for three months. Dating/relationships as a whole is always about confirming current compatibility. If she's no longer compatible with you, it will suck but it will be par for the course, especially given how college relationships tend to turn out.c B. You can be concerned somewhat but don't run yourself ragged over this. If she can't control herself under the influence then that's something she will need to handle on her own for herself. If she violates the boundaries within the relationship then you just have to accept that and move on. You can mourn for the relationship of course but , in the end it will be what it is.
Overall you're entering complicated Territory but ultimately either you two will make it or you won't and partying is just a small aspect of that. People don't get dependent on alcohol unless it's genetic or they have a mental/emotional matter that drives them to it, which means that as t the end of the day, the partying wouldn't be the issue. She would be.
But overall being aware of these things doesn't mean you have to stress about them
Most people have narcissistic tendencies to some degree. Most celebrities score pretty highly on the narcissistic chart.
Being a narcissist doesn't inherently make you a bad person. Especially if they're self aware and are attempting to work on it/manage it.
It's a spectrum with different levels.
Also, you have three kids with him. Been with him for years. You mean to tell me you've never noticed his tendencies?
Idk what your relationship is like, but if he's mostly a decent partner and a decent father, there's zero reason for you to want to take his children away.
This is easily something you can continue to work through.
However, based on some other comments- I have my doubts this post is even real. It's very similar to another post I saw recently, basically saying the exact same thing.
That's because the age gap makes you distant IRL
Let's look at future scenarios:
He may have friends 4-5 years older than him self, som when you are 38 he will be 53 with friends almost 60. They begin to have health issues and talk about them, retirement plans etc.
Some of them could have children your age, and well they could just think about you like a child of their own.
Your bf ( or husband) is getting full of life, wants to relax more, no going out as much as a 38 year old might want.
That's routine…
That’s not gaslighting
People make different decisions. OP is making a decision I would never make. You can argue about that all afternoon, you can whine that you think I can't possibly know what it's like to face adversity, but you literally have no fucking idea what you're talking about.
I’ve had a couple long term relationships where this happened, a 3 year and a 2 year.
basically after the honeymoon period expired these resentments began to grow and fester.
The only thing I can say with any certainty from my perspective is that I failed to communicate with my respective partners about the things that I was resentful about.
I either: A) thought it would solve itself with time
Or
B) was unable to articulate it in an accurate way
Regardless I have substantial regrets about the way both of those relationships ended. Neither were pleasant.
I know you mentioned you’ve voiced said concerns, but the key thing is that if you’re not getting the results and reciprocity you are looking for you need to come at it from a different angle, seek external help, or move on.
These problems clearly aren’t going to resolve themselves (as I have learned)
Sometimes people truly just aren’t compatible. However if you love this person and genuinely want to fix things then I’d encourage you to enlist the help of some sort of counselor or relationship therapist.
I felt like I had exhausted both my partners’ and my own ability to resolve conflict and I simply continued on with the status quo and that was definitely not the right move.
Wether you or your boyfriend realize it you’re at a crossroads in your relationship.
I hope things work out for you, but your oarorcuslr situation is very pertinent to my own experiences and I wish I could’ve done things vastly different than I did.
4 years? That's what you're mad about ? You got bigger problems dude.
Truth can be naked to hear sometimes. Thank you.
Oh please……. “t's just a favor! It's not a sexual act! Just let me stick my dick in your mouth when I ask you to, it's no big dealllll it's like a massage! Nothing sexual!”
What a load of crap lmao. Is he going to do the same for you? Let's say you start asking him randomly for oral sex and leave it at that without any other sexual act. Just to get you off even when he is not feeling it. Is he going to do it? He claims that oral is just like a massage and a favor right? Nothing sexual! Ok then let's see if he will give you that “massage” whenever you ask.
This is where you can be your own enemy. Take care of yourself. Stop hosting. Tell everyone you need a bit of a break and someone else can host.
I actually did not know anyone, but since buying the sailboat I have met a bunch of cool boat people that have been giving me lessons. So I've made new friends. I've been keeping it sort of a secret. I also work at a marina while I'm finishing college.
Anyways she made a post on her Facebook of her on a sailboat, so I was going to say that I thought that was pretty cool so looked into getting one because I saw she liked sailing. I thought it was so cool.
Her ex did that for a living. Heck though I live in a harbor town so almost everyone either owns boats or takes trips on them.