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  1. You are proud of yourself that you “stopped immediately” – it smacks of self-righteousness. Yet, you also know that pride in such behavior is misplaced.

    This is it. I realize it's very minor. I just didn't like that in the moment I had it in me. I wouldn't ever cheat. It was an episode of 5 seconds. Just the fact that it was seeking someone elses attention at all.

    Alternatively, you have extremely low self-esteem and your past behavior confirms that you are worthless. You believe that you deserve to be punished and are punishing yourself. You've inflated this situation into a crime against humanity. Some people revel in being the “worst person in the world” because their low self-esteem twists perspective on what things they should take pride in.

    This too. I have previously had a very minor case of anxiety (who doesn't). Always beat myself up pretty bad.

    I see it as a flaw in my character from the past and I can't shake it.

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