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Polly, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 30, 2022
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Look into the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. It discusses how getting into your own head can actually make it more difficult for you to reach orgasm and so much getting their comes from the brain and not from what’s going on down below, specifically for women. It gives pointers to help her relax and be more open and ready for a sexual experience, if there is in fact, something holding her back. Good luck!
I actually agree that most people who are defending the wife are being sexist. But I've been speaking for myself, not everyone else.
I'm not defending the wife, but we can't pretend she's in a normal headspace when blaming her (that tempers it but doesn't erase it). If you can only read that as “depression bad,” you are too emotionally compromised to have this discussion.
She has been with quite a few guys. Why get back together with leftover garbage. She isn’t girl you knew anymore.
Then that makes you incompatible with OP. It doesn’t make her boundaries stupid. And frankly, the kind of guy who’s down to get married in theory but won’t get engaged to her is not someone she specifically should marry. Boundaries are meant to weed out incompatible people. She wouldn’t be happy with someone who just wanted to on-line with her without a firm commitment. That is valid.
Your feelings matter. If you're ever asked again 'whats going on with you' be honest.. You do yourself a disservice by saying nothing to save their feelings or an awkward conversation. Your feelings matter. You matter!