I hope these replies are eye opening. Sometimes those post partum hormones have you fixated on things that are not important. Delete the post. Get some sleep. This is not important.
It seems like you really should have gotten to a place of healing before you moved on to a relationship with your current boyfriend, especially if you knew about his “emotional cheating” before you got in the relationship.
First, yes, I do think it's inappropriate for the girl to talk about stories about the strip club job. However, he might just lack the backbone to express that to the girl, and not necessarily have desires to hear such things.
For his part, he might think carpooling is a normal thing…..so much so that it's not worth mentioning. Tbh, there was a time in my life when I would have been like that.
I think the bottom line, regardless of what's happening, is that you don't trust him. If it's not this girl, it will be the next. If not this bf, it will be the next.
I'm not saying that he isn't cheating or he won't cheat, but you want to hang his past over his head forever and that will always skew how you view his interactions with other girls. You either accept that he's a different person than he was in the past and trust him, or you don't…….and break up.
3 weeks is not a long time, but then again.. the first thing I do when seriously considering a relationship is to ask if they are still in contact with any exes. If they are then i ask them if they would be willing to cut contact with the ex if we become official. I don't want to be controlling, but i also know that i just do NOT want the headache that comes with exes. I want them gone if I'm a relationship, simple as that. But again that's something i do just before or on the day where we discuss other boundaries so it's not something I'm forcing on a partner down the road
Well even more so lol- they had a whole friendship with each other and a bond before you came into the picture. why do you feel like you are like entitled to be involved with them all the time afterwards when you weren’t at first? Do you still get to hang out with them? I’m not being nasty I’m just trying to figure out what exactly it is that you’re mad about because obviously they hung out without you because they were friends before you so what is the big deal now? Are you upset because for a while they were hanging out with you all the time and now they are back to only hanging out together and you feel like it’s all of a sudden and you don’t know why?
Break up and give her 30-60 days' notice to find other living arrangements. Make sure this is put in text. She's using you for help with finances and nothing else at this point.
As others have said, zero yelling is the acceptable amount in any relationship, but especially in a case like yours, where you’re jumpy and have some trauma in your history, your partner should be taking extra care not to yell at you. He knows this is a problem, and feels bad after it happens, but apparently not bad enough to stop doing it? That’s someone who’s chosen not to put in the effort to stop doing the thing that hurts you. You deserve someone who listens when you tell them how their behavior makes you feel and does their best to be sensitive to your feelings.
Bro your girlfriend got gang banged. Break up with her for that. Add in the fact it probably happened while y’all were together. No need for Reddit just break up.
Thank you man I really appreciate your point of view. I've been a bit foggy in my thoughts preparing everything for the exam and I'm a bit confused.
I hope these replies are eye opening. Sometimes those post partum hormones have you fixated on things that are not important. Delete the post. Get some sleep. This is not important.
It seems like you really should have gotten to a place of healing before you moved on to a relationship with your current boyfriend, especially if you knew about his “emotional cheating” before you got in the relationship.
First, yes, I do think it's inappropriate for the girl to talk about stories about the strip club job. However, he might just lack the backbone to express that to the girl, and not necessarily have desires to hear such things.
For his part, he might think carpooling is a normal thing…..so much so that it's not worth mentioning. Tbh, there was a time in my life when I would have been like that.
I think the bottom line, regardless of what's happening, is that you don't trust him. If it's not this girl, it will be the next. If not this bf, it will be the next.
I'm not saying that he isn't cheating or he won't cheat, but you want to hang his past over his head forever and that will always skew how you view his interactions with other girls. You either accept that he's a different person than he was in the past and trust him, or you don't…….and break up.
Your friend needs to know about this, tell them.
I'm just here to read the replies , reddit don't like hearing views that don't fall in line with their own. Hence the downvotes—}
I had a crush on the idea of them not the person. I never once acted on it.
3 weeks is not a long time, but then again.. the first thing I do when seriously considering a relationship is to ask if they are still in contact with any exes. If they are then i ask them if they would be willing to cut contact with the ex if we become official. I don't want to be controlling, but i also know that i just do NOT want the headache that comes with exes. I want them gone if I'm a relationship, simple as that. But again that's something i do just before or on the day where we discuss other boundaries so it's not something I'm forcing on a partner down the road
Well even more so lol- they had a whole friendship with each other and a bond before you came into the picture. why do you feel like you are like entitled to be involved with them all the time afterwards when you weren’t at first? Do you still get to hang out with them? I’m not being nasty I’m just trying to figure out what exactly it is that you’re mad about because obviously they hung out without you because they were friends before you so what is the big deal now? Are you upset because for a while they were hanging out with you all the time and now they are back to only hanging out together and you feel like it’s all of a sudden and you don’t know why?
Break up and give her 30-60 days' notice to find other living arrangements. Make sure this is put in text. She's using you for help with finances and nothing else at this point.
Hanlon's Razor applies:
“Never attribute to malice, that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”
As others have said, zero yelling is the acceptable amount in any relationship, but especially in a case like yours, where you’re jumpy and have some trauma in your history, your partner should be taking extra care not to yell at you. He knows this is a problem, and feels bad after it happens, but apparently not bad enough to stop doing it? That’s someone who’s chosen not to put in the effort to stop doing the thing that hurts you. You deserve someone who listens when you tell them how their behavior makes you feel and does their best to be sensitive to your feelings.
That's what you should have done. I get he wanted to be low-key, but he deserved a proper welcome.
Bro your girlfriend got gang banged. Break up with her for that. Add in the fact it probably happened while y’all were together. No need for Reddit just break up.
I’ve seen it all too often. People mistaking relationships for ownership. It’s like people want to become conjoined, no longer individuals at all.