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Topless [Multi Goal]
Date: November 6, 2022
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Two things both true here:
Your girlfriends family is being inappropriate, they should not be asking you for money, and your girlfriend should be drawing that boundary with them.
AND
The way you talk about your family and her family, I’m getting the strong sense that you look down on them, and maybe poor people in general. Maybe this isn’t true, I don’t know you, I’m just sharing that that’s how it sounded to me as I read this.
If your girlfriend isn’t willing to tell her family to back off from you and leave you alone, I personally would end it. It’ll get worse not better.
Obviously you respect her choice, as you said. But also, you have a choice. Namely, it’s up to you whether this is a deal breaker for the relationship. We can’t decide that for you, but I’ll share what’s worked for me.
I grew up with the expectation that I should wait for marriage. My parents did. But after a lot of reflection, I decided that I am so thorough in researching/testing anything before I commit to it, from new jeans to cars to housing. Why would the most important commitment of my life be something I approach with less thoroughness than those things?!
So I decided it was important to me to experience sex before marriage. And I’m glad I did. It helped me discover what I like and need, and what I don’t. It helped me become more independent and assertive. It’s also important to get to know that side of your partner before you commit to them for life. And if you’re the type to get fomo, you can reduce that risk by having sex with a few partners before settling down. You wouldn’t want those doubts to creep in later!
Now that I’m in my mid-thirties, having been with several sexual partners, I’m happily engaged and excited to commit to this man for life. No reservations whatsoever, because I know exactly who he is in many contexts, including in bed. So that’s worked great for me!
You’ll have to find what feels right for you. I hope you’ll take the time to think, talk, journal, etc. about this and figure out what you need. Be honest with yourself so you can be honest with your girlfriend, and any other partners you may have.
It’s also OK if your opinion changes over time. This is a period in your life when you’ll experience a lot and change a lot. Just keep checking in with yourself about it, and keep in mind that there are many ways to be. You just have to do what’s best for you!
Your BF is a dick. And why are you with an 18 year old??? Gross!
Thank you for this. I appreciate your comment ??
He’s not the only one buying her merch. I don’t know why you should be worried. Aren’t you a music fan?
You know him better than most so go with your instincts as that is why you want validation hey? He’s definitely giving you reasons to see red flags ? flying and has questions to answer. Call him out and if he’s nothing to hide, it’s okay. You’ll be able to judge that for yourself with his body language and eyes. I wish you well and hope I’m wrong. Take care and let us know how you get along. Stay strong ?