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Date: October 2, 2022
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Alleviate symptoms, sure. And they get give people enough focus to get their lives in order.
In this case they are having a serious side affect on her marriage, and if she's not working to “fix” the issues once off the medication, that's a bad thing.
Religion tends to make people feel like whatever they do is a sin. Masturbation has been scientifically proven to cause less problems internally and physically. If your girl friend can’t do her research just because of shame and guilt from religion then she is brainwashed. That’s just my opinion as someone who has came from being religious to researching enough to believe it’s all a joke.
This might make me unpopular, but if you don’t want to have sex with your partner who wants sex then divorce him.
You don’t want to break up, but you also don’t want to have sex with him or let him have sex with other people or make changes in your life to see if there is a reason behind it – only calling yourself low libido. Sex genuinely is important for some people and whilst I don’t think him having sex with other people is the answer I strongly believe that having sex trumps someone not wanting sex if you want to want to stay together, because you can work on sex being more fulfilling and even if you don’t enjoy the act of sex, you can work parts of it around intimacy / connection with your partner rather than focus on the act itself (cuddling, kissing, tenderness).
He finds you attractive and wants sex and you claim to have a low libido, which some people genuinely do, but a lot of people use it as an excuse and magically get their libido with a new partner. Which is fine in itself, but unless you put the work in to rekindle the passion or break up it’s unfair on someone that’s expected to miss out on something that’s important for them to connect.
You’re essentially staying “comfortable” whilst he has clear issues arising from you not wanting sex with him. The stalemate is, that by staying in the relationship, you will always win on the sex refusal grounds, so essentially there is little to nothing he can do to improve the situation. I’m a strong believer that there is too much low libido and high libido talk and it’s more likely just a representation of failures in yours relationship.
My advice is to stop calling yourself low libido, If there genuinely is something wrong – call a doctor and get checked out. Evaluate your life – look at how stressed you are, how busy you life is, how your work life balance is – the things that take away from both your energy and your passion. Make changes where necessary, actually trying pushing for sex, exploring things sexually on your terms if your partner is not satisfying in the bedroom. Maybe explore yourself sexually if that’s the issue. I can almost guarantee that in a lot of situations like you’ve described there is a huge absence of intimacy and love/romance and that the relationship is very much routine and more akin to friendship. Perhaps work on also complimenting your partner, make him feel desirable, go on dates, dress up, kiss him passionately unexpected, compliment him.
Also this isn’t just on you, if he’s the same as described anywhere above, he needs to work on this too. If you’re both in a routine and he’s not making any effort and just wants to have sex which is unsatisfying for you, he needs to work on it too.
I do but usually to porn. I’ve never masturbated thinking about someone I’ve liked other than my bf.
Yeah it’s just hard because I really like her but one of the jobs I’m interviewing for that is my dream job is 6 hours away. We’ve actually been dating for 5 months
For a reaction that's this strong there's no way he wouldn't have reacted similarly if kids had been mentioned as a real possibility before. No most people don't discuss their kids' education until they're usually born but he brought it up because he was so stressed over the idea, and his actions since show this is something that is deeply ingrained in him. It's definitely weird that they went 5 years without ever having talked about having kids to the point that this stress wasn't triggered before.
Simply tell him you are missing it. All the physical is diminishing and you are unhappy about that.
And you want know what’s up
And didnt tell her who he was travelling with? Omitting info? Nah, there's just no trust here to be had.
Heart emojis are def weird for a coworker…but let's give her the benefit of the doubt and pretend that she sends hearts to everyone. The issue is really between you and your partner. Have you mentioned before that you get an off feeling about her? I'd suggest waiting a bit for him to cool off then approach the conversation in a non accusing way. Keep it light and don't blame him cuz maybe he doesn't see the issue from your perspective. I'd say something like “hey, so about the other day when I asked about so and so's heart emojis, I just wanted to say that I trust you, but I was caught off guard by seeing that”. Then take the conversation from there. Don't expect him to stop talking to her obviously, but put your general concerns out there. I usually tell my BF to not allow a conversation that he wouldn't be ok with me seeing. Good luck! Trust your gut!