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Date: October 9, 2022
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This is right answer.
To me, it wasn’t the issue of who she bought it for, that’s fine we all have coworkers and friends and that’s fine. It was the fact that she made an elaborate cover up, and swore up and down. That’s what made me feel weird about it.
This is like breaking up but with lots of sex and unnecessary complicated bits. You have pretty much swapping being together with some weirdass open style relationship which she is taking full advantage of.
And why wouldn't she? She is a winner regardless.
And now you are wondering why it's all so complicated?
This is no way to live!. He should be doing 50% of the housework and child care if you are both working full time. And he should speak to you respectfully, and treat you like the goddess you are. Know your worth and ditch that AH.
I just want to add that the age gap IS a big deal. Not with older adults, but with a 19yo, and a 36yo, it is. A grown man hooking up with a teenager is gross, and he probably had to find someone young and naive to put up with his bullshit, because women closer to his age have the life experience not too.
Ok come on you are smarter than this. No one truly gets on tinder to make friends.
I edited to clarify that couples therapy might be beneficial. It seems that OP feels like he isn't being seen or heard by his GF. Since she trusts a therapist to make the call, bringing them both there might help him being seen and possibly addressing why the GF keeps internalizing her friends issues.
There’s nothing wrong with your preferences at all but you get out over thin ice when you start talking about it.
Like, how did it even come up?
Pregnancy is a big deal you know…that is your flesh and blood that you are considering to remove. It may take a toll emotionally and physically.
Rather than reaching that point, please make sure you do everything in your power to remove that posssibility, condoms and IUD etc. Do not be too hung up with the pleasure of raw sex and lust that you ignore the consequences. This includes AIDS and any other deseases out there.
What is your advice?
RUN.
I have made excuses for two months now–have not seen him since February, and I think he is catching on, and the texts are getting smaller and smaller. I have a feeling he is going to text our mutual friend a lot more now about his problems until she slowly fades from it and replies little. I have recommended therapy a handful of times, and he has not taken the initiative to seek therapy at all.