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1. The thing is he lied to you, kept it a secret after the first time you asked him to stop.

   He lied to you again when he said let him hang out one more time and smoke with her, and then he will tell her, and he didn't.

   He slept with his phone so you couldn't get it. Which is a major red flag. He is cheating on you and I guarantee you in more than just emotionally.

   Spending hours and hours with someone smoking, and not doing anything else. Yeah I don't believe it.

   He is taking her on dates, theme parks, beach, out to eat, etc. And you are allowing it.

   He is trying to guilt you, because you want him to stop having anything to do with her.

   He has shown you time and again, that he cares more about her, than you. And you keep letting him.

   I honestly don't think therapy is going to work. I think once the therapist agrees with you, he will get mad and quit going.

   If it was me in your situation, he would already have divorce papers, I would already have half the joint account, in a account of my own, and I would be moving out of the house.

   There would have been no second chances after the first time. Once I told him once how I felt, and asked him to stop, and he didn't, that would have been the last.

   I would have also made sure that I told this girl that she was free to have him, and I hope she has better luck with him, than I did, as he is a cheater. I would also report it to their employer that they sit outside in the parking lot and smoke weed. I don't know to many businesses that would be ok with that.

   Then I would walk away and let his world implode around him.

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2. My kids are a little younger than yours and I ended my marriage as well. It was going to shit for a long, long time. It's going to be a little difficult, but I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work.

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3. You need to find a way to get him to loosen up, because he's not going to keep this up forever, at least not all of it. Mainly, these habits might go well now while things are good and sky's are clear, but what happens when you really do screw up in a way he can't just bury? What happens when one of you get laid off? He needs outlets and it would appear he's too guarded to give himself those.

   So, ask him about stuff he's doing. Figure out what he would want to do on a Friday night and don't just let him get away with basically letting you pick.

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4. That’s quite a lie. There’s nothing to be done except ask him what else he’s lying about.

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