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Date: October 12, 2022
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Dude is probably in Ukraine fighting the russians by now
Thank you!
It's a horrible thing for OP to find out, but he's put actual cameras up and is policiing his mother's sex life like she's his wife. This is super messed up.
Where did the apologies and stuff go? And are you filing police reports? Is she stay with her parents, or “friend”
Unless she actually is extremely selfish, in which case this is pent-up frustration. We are missing a lot of detail here.
Yes. I hold you accountable for this. Leave. Take ownership now
Bro we are the same age. We don't have the same history in love relationships, my longest was 4 years.
But man, we have a whole life still to come. We might see ourselves as “old young”, but we do not. We have so much more things to come, some wonderful, some awful, so much more life changing experiences. And we both do not want to live them unhappy, or unable to on-line them 100% because of some regrets or bad decisions or anything.
I can't really understand how strong you two are tied together, 10 years when you are 28 means you have been spending 1/3 of your life with someone. But it gives another perspective on what you say : if you are currently unhappy, do not commit. For both of you, do not commit on something you are not sure is going to make, again, both of you happy.
Yet you can't abandon her, since she's pregnant with your child and you have responsabilities over that child. That need hours and hours of discussions with her, she probably “opened the door” during that cake testing, or at least you know she is questioning herself.
Good luck brother.
Hey look, and this might just be me, but if someone is carrying around a baby for 9 months, puking in the mornings, risks their health and life to give birth to them, then maybe they get to choose the names.
Wait, did he say, “I love my best friend more than I love you.”? or did he just say, “Men's love is deeper because there aren't other factors that get in the way.”
Why don't you have him expound on the “other factors that get in the way” part? What's his story? When he was younger, was he a nobody and only got women's attention once he became handsome / tall / strong / established / other?
Also, I don't know you. Hopefully, there's more to you than sex. Again, I have no clue about your personality / hobbies / values, etc. Getting back to the sex part. How long did you wait before having sex with him? I mean, if both of you were at it from the get-go, there's no strong foundation.
These questions are rhetorical, of course. We don't need to know these answers; just ask yourself.
You weren't the causation. It was a consequence of his actions. Makes me think of the post from relationship advice where the husband wanted an open marriage so he could sleep with a coworker, and the wife glowed up and went out with all his friends.
He decided that you, your feelings, and the time invested in the relationship weren't as important as a potential side piece. He fucked around and now he's finding out. He had SO many options open to him, like not pursuing this other person, asking you to do couples therapy with him, realizing he's not ready for a commitment to you and ending things himself. Instead he chose to lie and be deceitful.
And then found out how easy it was for you to move on. He's not ready. You are the lesson for him in why you have to be ready to commit and have to be honest and faithful to each other. As you saw, Beyonce was right: you can find another him in a minute.
My petty ass would make him explain the WHOLE story to his mom with me there as witness, and then leave him.
She cheated with the ex and another random guy weeks after they were exclusive. I'm also curious about the part where she says she “saw a guy twice” depending on the context of that it could still be cheating even if they didn't have sex. So we have a minimum of 2 instances of cheating possibly 3 depending on what seeing the guy means.
Lying to herself for 20 years to convince herself it was before they were exclusive doesn't make it not cheating.
In addition to this you have to weigh lying for 20 years into the betrayal.