Don't view therapy as an either or. You are working on yourself, and therapy is just a tool to help you do that. Therapists are professionals who have the knowledge of the workings of the human mind. I can guarantee they'll have better advice on how to help you and your girlfriend too! Better than strangers on Reddit at least ?. Good luck!!!! Rooting for you!
Nope. Not cheating. But the two of you really didn’t do your due diligence setting this up.
I’d go over to the ENM subreddit for guidance in a place that actually supports open relationships and can help you with this.
You’ve got nothing to apologize for. No cheating. But frankly an open relationship requires 2 yeses, so if your wife wants to close it you either honor that or divorce. She’s revoked consent so those really are your choices.
I think there’s a difference lol. It’d be like “going to the opera and asking the organizer if it is possible for the band to play X song”. One is unconvential and odd, but not rude. What you described is extremely rude. It’d be like “going to a Michelin rest and going into the kitchen and shouting to the chefs to add more chilli to his food”.
OP’s bf is certainly odd for requesting a tweak to the recipe. Maybe he doesn’t know bout fine dining etiquettes. But the rest of the situations described by her are extremely common in other parts of the world, or in other cultures.
And so far, op’s bf hasn’t been displayed any rude behaviours. Just seems like an innocent soul.
I do think this is not a healthy way to think, but I don’t think it would escalate to cheating exactly (unless he has previously given you any indication that he would cheat).
Unhealthy thoughts don’t make people cheat, they are a sign the thinker is unhealthy (mentally, emotionally or even physically). Cheaters cheat and in that case, there is nothing that can be done about it.
So ai wouldn’t worry about the cheating part for now unless he has given you any sign that he would cheat.
Money does not equate to liking you or not. Why does he gotta spend money on you? You made the choice to spend money on him even without a date. You spending money on him doesn’t mean you like him. Sometimes money being spent on another without reciprocation can be a form of power play.
I have an issue where spending money on other people makes me feel good (kind of like a high) but I didn’t like the people.
Aside from whether or not it's normal to be that affectionate with friends, I think that it sounds like she's using it as an excuse to have options and blowing you off because she doesn't respect or take the relationship seriously. You're both young, let her be someone else's problem before you get too invested and end up getting hurt. It sounds alot like if you broke up with her, she'd go straight to him without remorse. This is why I don't date within friend groups. It's much easier when your friend group doesn't double as a dating pool.
If he's open to cheating he's not a good man, he's probably done it before, maybe even while you were married, and he's a cheater.
You have no idea how much intimacy he is getting at home, you only know what he is telling you in order to get you into an inappropriate relationship with him.
Yes, with a few days left to make a life changing decision, I'm not doing my best, and ?.
Don't view therapy as an either or. You are working on yourself, and therapy is just a tool to help you do that. Therapists are professionals who have the knowledge of the workings of the human mind. I can guarantee they'll have better advice on how to help you and your girlfriend too! Better than strangers on Reddit at least ?. Good luck!!!! Rooting for you!
Nope. Not cheating. But the two of you really didn’t do your due diligence setting this up.
I’d go over to the ENM subreddit for guidance in a place that actually supports open relationships and can help you with this.
You’ve got nothing to apologize for. No cheating. But frankly an open relationship requires 2 yeses, so if your wife wants to close it you either honor that or divorce. She’s revoked consent so those really are your choices.
I think there’s a difference lol. It’d be like “going to the opera and asking the organizer if it is possible for the band to play X song”. One is unconvential and odd, but not rude. What you described is extremely rude. It’d be like “going to a Michelin rest and going into the kitchen and shouting to the chefs to add more chilli to his food”.
OP’s bf is certainly odd for requesting a tweak to the recipe. Maybe he doesn’t know bout fine dining etiquettes. But the rest of the situations described by her are extremely common in other parts of the world, or in other cultures.
And so far, op’s bf hasn’t been displayed any rude behaviours. Just seems like an innocent soul.
I do think this is not a healthy way to think, but I don’t think it would escalate to cheating exactly (unless he has previously given you any indication that he would cheat).
Unhealthy thoughts don’t make people cheat, they are a sign the thinker is unhealthy (mentally, emotionally or even physically). Cheaters cheat and in that case, there is nothing that can be done about it.
So ai wouldn’t worry about the cheating part for now unless he has given you any sign that he would cheat.
It’s only been a week. Give it time.
Money does not equate to liking you or not. Why does he gotta spend money on you? You made the choice to spend money on him even without a date. You spending money on him doesn’t mean you like him. Sometimes money being spent on another without reciprocation can be a form of power play.
I have an issue where spending money on other people makes me feel good (kind of like a high) but I didn’t like the people.
Talk to your mother.
Aside from whether or not it's normal to be that affectionate with friends, I think that it sounds like she's using it as an excuse to have options and blowing you off because she doesn't respect or take the relationship seriously. You're both young, let her be someone else's problem before you get too invested and end up getting hurt. It sounds alot like if you broke up with her, she'd go straight to him without remorse. This is why I don't date within friend groups. It's much easier when your friend group doesn't double as a dating pool.
If he's open to cheating he's not a good man, he's probably done it before, maybe even while you were married, and he's a cheater.
You have no idea how much intimacy he is getting at home, you only know what he is telling you in order to get you into an inappropriate relationship with him.
Yeah okay keep lying to yourself. And good luck ?
I was going to say, do you have a friend you could stay with…preferably a friend with a musclebound husband/boyfriend to provide security?