It sounds like he may have an addiction. Have you tried talking to him about it? It doesn't seem healthy for him to put off so much just to play video games.
The thing is, if two co-parents are already close friends, why would one expect that to change?Co-parents don't have to be good friends but many are and that's typically amazing for the child. Some of it is completely fair, but a lot of it comes with dating a single parent. If I started dating a single mom tomorrow who's on good terms with her ex, I'd absolutely expect this guy to be a major part of my life now because his kid is a major part of my life now. I expect him to have stories for days about his dad and I expect all of his most beloved experiences and memories to have involved his father. There are some things that you are going to have to get past if you want to date someone with a child. I don't date people with children for this reason. It would be too drastic of a change to my particular lifestyle.
I suggest OP get your brother on board with this conversation too. And remind them that their role as family is not to control her decisions. You are there to support and be the ones she can count on always being by her side. At this point, if they broke up or she needed help with this relationship, she would be too embarrassed to turn to her parents. She wouldn't go to them about regular issues because she knows how they will react, and it is not helpful.
Explain how it is they will and are losing her, and how they are failing to do their job of providing support and a soft place to land. She does not need another person in her life controlling her decisions, and right now it's her parents doing that, not her boyfriend.
I check texts a few times a day when I am taking a break from work or whatever I’m doing around the house.
To me, texts are for non urgent things like “on my way” or “check out this meme”. My friends, family, and partner all know that if something requires attention immediately, they need to call me. I don’t even have text notifications turned on as I find it distracting when I’m trying to work.
You’re responding within 10 min. That seems very quick to me.
Just tell your family it is her or you, and stick to it no matter what they choose.
It sounds like he may have an addiction. Have you tried talking to him about it? It doesn't seem healthy for him to put off so much just to play video games.
And how would you react if your SO told you that your ass is too flat or your tits are too small?
so she will have $280,000 in debt just to be able to make $85k per year? that's fn insane!!!!
I don't have much advice. That's a lot of money that needs to be paid off on top of day to day living expenses – mortgage/rent, vehicles, food…
And I'm guessing you are in the US? So then additional medical expense's
That all sounds so so so overwhelming to me. I don't think I could do it.
The thing is, if two co-parents are already close friends, why would one expect that to change?Co-parents don't have to be good friends but many are and that's typically amazing for the child. Some of it is completely fair, but a lot of it comes with dating a single parent. If I started dating a single mom tomorrow who's on good terms with her ex, I'd absolutely expect this guy to be a major part of my life now because his kid is a major part of my life now. I expect him to have stories for days about his dad and I expect all of his most beloved experiences and memories to have involved his father. There are some things that you are going to have to get past if you want to date someone with a child. I don't date people with children for this reason. It would be too drastic of a change to my particular lifestyle.
OP said it's the kids maternal grandmother. So the kid's mother's mother.
I suggest OP get your brother on board with this conversation too. And remind them that their role as family is not to control her decisions. You are there to support and be the ones she can count on always being by her side. At this point, if they broke up or she needed help with this relationship, she would be too embarrassed to turn to her parents. She wouldn't go to them about regular issues because she knows how they will react, and it is not helpful.
Explain how it is they will and are losing her, and how they are failing to do their job of providing support and a soft place to land. She does not need another person in her life controlling her decisions, and right now it's her parents doing that, not her boyfriend.
That sounds exhausting.
I check texts a few times a day when I am taking a break from work or whatever I’m doing around the house.
To me, texts are for non urgent things like “on my way” or “check out this meme”. My friends, family, and partner all know that if something requires attention immediately, they need to call me. I don’t even have text notifications turned on as I find it distracting when I’m trying to work.
You’re responding within 10 min. That seems very quick to me.
You're acting weird and controlling. You should trust your girlfriend more.