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Skinny for you!, ?, 19 y.o.
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Date: December 31, 2022
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I'd try talking to her and using “I feel” statements. Like “I feel belittled when you say…” as opposed to straight up saying you do this. I'd also tell her that unless you explicitly state you're looking for advice or input, you just want someone to listen when you need to vent.
My last partner was like this. But when I'd use the i feel statements, he would still tell me I was accusing him. He was very controlling, abusive and just all round a terrible person though. So if your wife isn't these things, I'd tell her how you feel and see if things improve. If not… maybe you 2 aren't compatible
What the fuck did I just read?
Run for the hills.
Idk. I think he has a right to have enjoyed it in the moment. He also has the right to regret what he did or that he enjoyed it. I don’t think it’s right for him to blame you for those feelings, though. I won’t call him a dick, but he definitely needs to figure his shit out. And probably needs the space to do so?
They weren't kids when she said it… they were fetuses. And he was being a shithead/whatever when they were talking, but early pregnancy != having kids. Also, a few conversations, no matter how shitty they are, should not necessarily exclude the person from knowing anything about his offspring OR keep an offspring from their parents.
I get what you are saying, but it does feel a bit fucked up to not let him know that his children were born. Is it her responsibility to chase him down? No. It sounds to me, however, like she kind of actively went out of her way to exclude him. The amount of effort to send a FB message or letter or even just pass it through the grapevine or whatever is so infinitesimally small that I couldn't have seen it as anything other than just not wanting to.
Based on what she kind of said, it sounded like he wouldn't care anyways. Or is it that she was worried that he would care?
Whatever… she did what she did and maybe the kids are better off. That said, the biological father might have some rights, here. Maybe he should be asked to step up financially, too. He still might morally and legally have some rights.
There’s nothing wrong with you. People and circumstances change, and relationships end.
I’m sorry you don’t know why, however, jumping to conclusions like there’s something wrong with you or she’s a cheater are not productive or conducive to healing and moving on.
In my long life I’ve rarely seen people get closure.
I remember reading your story, and thinking how I'd lost my shit. Thanks for updating and burn Ashley's letter do NOT read it.
Hey, I just wanted to give you some support when it comes to the age gap because I know you’re getting quite a bit of backlash for it. Coming from someone who’s partner is 12 years older than them, it’s not about the age gap, it’s the maturity level. Her friends have every right to be a bit sceptical. That’s normal. They’re 21 year olds, probably in university just messing around, wanting to experience things and not looking for serious. I know you don’t like being in this position where you feel like you’re separating your gf from her friends, so maybe when you next go out, skip the alcohol and the partying and just really try to get to know them and have them know you. And also, don’t worry about what her friends want, worry about what your gf wants. If your maturity levels go well together and you both enjoy spending time together, that’s all what matters. 21 year olds are perfectly capable of making their own decisions and thinking for themselves