Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
You said you try not to act desperate but you bought flowers and went kinda over the top for a first date. You're also messaging her asking her to tell her if she's not interested. Here's my advice (coming from a person in a committed relationship):
Accept her reasons for not seeing and talking to you. It was a first date, not a year into your relationship. If she can't/doesn't want to talk, respect that. Also remember, December is full of holidays and family stuff for most people, she likely is really busy.
Focus on yourself. It was a FIRST date and a few hang outs. It is a huge deal for you because it was your first date ever and that's great. Congratulations man! You do have to realize that first dates are usually to test the waters. You're not necessarily committed to someone because you went out and if she doesn't want to talk after for any reason, that's fine. The antidote to feeling lonely about this though is to really focus on yourself. Do not get caught up messaging her multiple times when she doesn't respond. Seriously, focus on your own life. Spend time with family, work, hang out with friends. Maybe try something new like a hobby or push further into one you're already doing.
I can't stress that enough. If she doesn't want to talk to you and won't respond, LET IT GO! If she really wants to, she'll message you back later. If she doesn't, forcing something to happen isn't good for either of you.
I know it might hurt because you were told she liked you, but you also don't know how different you acted around her once you found out. She just might not like that feeling. At times, I haven't too. There will be many more first dates and if people want to ghost you or beat around the bush, let them because that just shows how much of an asshole they are. Do you really want to be with a ghosting asshole?
You can absolutely tell her that you find the pouting unattractive or something but you cannot stop her from pouting. Only she can decide how to react when you ask for space or state a preference.
Is she willing to go to treatment for alcohol? Because if she's that easily morally swayed under the influence of alcohol to make a decision that risks her well being what else is she capable of willing to risk?
Lol well that didn’t really help much, um what does your boyfriend find annoying typically? It’s could have been loads of things adding up that night then seeing you sloppy drunk was the tipping point, since it was your first time ever like that then I can see why you are upset but I also don’t know either of y’all personally so it hot to say what he was thinking
Hello /u/Aromatic_Battle_3071,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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You said you try not to act desperate but you bought flowers and went kinda over the top for a first date. You're also messaging her asking her to tell her if she's not interested. Here's my advice (coming from a person in a committed relationship):
Accept her reasons for not seeing and talking to you. It was a first date, not a year into your relationship. If she can't/doesn't want to talk, respect that. Also remember, December is full of holidays and family stuff for most people, she likely is really busy.
Focus on yourself. It was a FIRST date and a few hang outs. It is a huge deal for you because it was your first date ever and that's great. Congratulations man! You do have to realize that first dates are usually to test the waters. You're not necessarily committed to someone because you went out and if she doesn't want to talk after for any reason, that's fine. The antidote to feeling lonely about this though is to really focus on yourself. Do not get caught up messaging her multiple times when she doesn't respond. Seriously, focus on your own life. Spend time with family, work, hang out with friends. Maybe try something new like a hobby or push further into one you're already doing.
I can't stress that enough. If she doesn't want to talk to you and won't respond, LET IT GO! If she really wants to, she'll message you back later. If she doesn't, forcing something to happen isn't good for either of you.
I know it might hurt because you were told she liked you, but you also don't know how different you acted around her once you found out. She just might not like that feeling. At times, I haven't too. There will be many more first dates and if people want to ghost you or beat around the bush, let them because that just shows how much of an asshole they are. Do you really want to be with a ghosting asshole?
No father wants to find out his little boy is getting fucked in the ass. Give him some time and he’ll come around.
You can absolutely tell her that you find the pouting unattractive or something but you cannot stop her from pouting. Only she can decide how to react when you ask for space or state a preference.
Is she willing to go to treatment for alcohol? Because if she's that easily morally swayed under the influence of alcohol to make a decision that risks her well being what else is she capable of willing to risk?
Lol well that didn’t really help much, um what does your boyfriend find annoying typically? It’s could have been loads of things adding up that night then seeing you sloppy drunk was the tipping point, since it was your first time ever like that then I can see why you are upset but I also don’t know either of y’all personally so it hot to say what he was thinking
I think you might be right, it really fucking hurts..