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Cold night but I’m a bit mischievous to heat you/ goal: Show oral for 10 min [70 tokens remaining]
Date: October 29, 2022
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It’s very difficult because my heart wants her and my brain has a giant red flag.
So, the narrative here is not actually that he got upset, despite OP asserting that.
“I asked him what he wanted multiple times and he always said nothing. Then today when I finally dragged it out of him that he was disappointed in his gift, he said that he would have chose not a gift at all. But that l, I don't believe at all.”
OP is repeatedly refusing to believe and respect his very clearly stated preference for no gifts. And she says she had to ddrag it out of him thatche didn't like it; that doesn't say “upset” to me, that says “didn't perform excitement amd gratitude to the degree that I imagined, so I harassed him until he confessed that he was unhappy.”
The person being rude – at best – is OP.
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This is also your fault for agreeing to sell the former house and buy a new house. It's dumb to buy another house when the interest rated is double (or more) of what was last year. On top of that there's a recession, which is another reason not to buy a house with a higher mortgage payment. You cannot only blame her; you agreed to make a bad decision.
You have to sit down and communicate. Tell her that either she gets a job that pays the mortgage like you had agreed, or that you divorce ASAP and you have to sell the house. You are going to be loosing a lot of money from the closing costs, etc., but this is just ridiculous. You cannot keep working 14 hour shifts.
Bro, at least try to have the conversation about it with her before actually doing the breaking up. It sounds like she approached this pretty reasonably, and if you had any real feelings for her then she deserves to at least be heard out (and you do too).
Depending on how that talk goes, I'm sure at that point you'll know either a) it still feels right to break up or b) wow, the talk went way better than I thought it would, maybe she isn't as attached to this as I thought?
Given how you are responding to the comments here you have nothing to worry about, you won't be living forever with her in a shared house, or even for much longer.
You’re hearing the call for therapy. This is long overdue. But here’s what I see as another issue. The parents. Cut the sister off!
Mary feels entitled and arrogant. She’s been allowed to do this her entire life only because the parents allowed it.
You need to sit them down. Now! Explain and get their feedback and a solution. If they do not support and have your back, you cut the entire family off. Protect your wife!
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I would of given you different advice when you were first dating your wife but im not sure what steps you’ve take prior to this incident to support and protect your marriage from her sister if any.
Your wife can’t recover while around her sister. Cut the sister off! No text! No social media! Period!
Stop telling people what to do who they can be friends with. If you’ve got a problem with it JUST DONT DATE THEM
Thank you. I was worried I was being a bit sensitive. As the older guy I've always sorts expected he'd be more mature and well rounded, so when this stuff comes up I tend to ignore a lot of my worries. Thank you for the advice and your understanding
Now I've been sober for a few years and working a steady job.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
A close friend of mine is struggling with addiction, I know that's not easy to kick.
Now, do I leave it alone?
YES.
Are the antidepressants working? Is he going to therapy?
Okayy I will surely do stop being friends with him.
I'm really glad you didn't try and work this out or see if she would get her shit together, this chick is major bunny-boiler vibes.
Stay safe!
How long have you been together?
What you’re asking isn’t actually a relationship issue, it’s about the function of the phone he used (should make clear what phone model he is using).
In terms of the main relationship element here, what is the relevance of those messages to yo relationship?