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  1. Hey. I am sorry that I have nothing better to report, but I have been with a woman with BPD for over 4 years between 24-28 years old. It was the worst time of my life and left me absolutely emotionally scarred and struggling with depression for years afterwards.

    It was the most toxic shit I have ever experienced. She accused me of infidelity on a daily basis. That I would be fucking my colleagues, her roommate, my ex and at one point, where she was extra crazy, even my own mother.

    For years she gaslighted me, made me walk on eggshells, made me distance myself from friends and family, my own hobbies, basically everything that made me leave the house because once I was doing my own thing I would have trouble later that day.

    I loved her more than anything though, although some might think why after reading this (love makes blind). She just didn't get any help. She tried several therapists but it was always that they were lying, all conspiring against her, she is not ill and everybody is against her. I believed that we can make it work, I fought with everything I had. Until I was empty and exhausted and started to consider things I never even thought about before in my life.

    I had to leave her before one of us killed themselves. We made each others life a living hell. I am not innocent in this. My frustration about her lack of trust in me, after literally carrying her on my hands and giving her my entire heart and love – the most valuable thing I had to give.

    I think it might have worked if she would have gotten help and medication. But without it, I doubt it would have gone any other way.

    I am sorry I have nothing better to report. But that was by far the darkest time of my life.

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