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Birth Date: 1999-06-13
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Date: September 26, 2022
So you admit “the patriarchy” doesn't privilege men after all
Okay, that is a good first step, his mom bought him books. That are supposed to tell him how to regain my trust and stop being toxic.
Responded to another comment as well but in my defense, the dog allergy is incredibly confusing to both of us.
He grew up in a house that had two of the exact same breed of dog, and in his mid-20s he lived in a house with a long-haired dog. He's super allergic to cats but has never had any issues with dogs until my dog. In fact, he spends a lot of time at friend's houses that have dogs and doesn't have issues. He seems to be allergic to…my dog? I only left this part out because I didn't want the post to be super long and the relevant issue is that he's allergic to my dog.
The other couple of times I've had my dog around him, it was only for a couple of days and he didn't react this badly. He was okay with figuring out how to deal with itchiness and sniffles, because we figured we could combat that with allergy meds or shots if necessary. I never would have brought my dog over if we had known how badly his allergies actually were. I'm not cruel, we just didn't know. Obviously I'm incredibly concerned about his allergies and not looking to put his health at risk.
because he “feels guilty hearing that from me” which i dont really know what that means
You’re overthinking everything and she doesn’t know you feel this way. You may not be saying the words, but you think you’re smarter and better than her. You haven’t said much positive about her, so it’s obvious your relationship is lacking for you. And you’re asking strangers on-line how to break it to her gently. And that’s okay. You’re being honest, but you know there’s no easy way to do this without hurting her.
I agree with the other people who said you’re wasting her time. Not everyone knows what they were meant to do. The people that they trust the most are supposed to be supportive and helpful, because it’s not always easy deciding the course for the rest of their lives. I know lots of people that have needed help from friends and family along the way with jobs, advice, someone to just listen, etc. For some it’s a struggle most of their lives, but people find their way eventually. One thing they don’t need is their partner judging them. And I haven’t heard how supportive or helpful you’ve been to her.
My wife and I are opposites in many ways. She’s an artist so her brain works differently than my more analytical mind. She has skills that I don’t possess, and vice versa, so we’re a good team together. We may disagree and fight from time to time, but there’s lots of passion and love. And we know relationships take work and commitment to go the distance. We started with nothing together, and we’re now both professionals and we’re extremely good at what we do. We found our way individually and together. And we’ve never been married, but we’ve been together over 20 years. I’m just pointing out that you don’t know what the future holds for either of you.
In the end, it sounds like you think there’s someone else perfect out there for you. Then please go ahead and try to find them. Maybe you’ll get lucky and find someone more compatible, or maybe you’ll date a series of partners that are aren’t. No one knows, but you will find out that no one is perfect and neither are you. I
Thank you for your advice, I certainly didn’t act well, and looking at the all the responses I’m certainly in the wrong, my boyfriend does deserve the best, he’s amazing, and I’ll try my best in the future ?
ohh that makes sense thank you! 🙂
OP, your partner is not a good person. You said you wanted to see everyone’s comments. Well now you have it.
Deep down you already know the answer. So why are you still clinging on to this marriage? You’re still young. Please, do yourself a favour and end the relationship before it’s too late.
This is it. Why talk about getting laid off? Why make the comments about the fictitious boyfriend? He’s caring about all these factors except for his own behavior!