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Date: September 23, 2022

One thought on “VICTORIA

  1. I don’t think either of you are in the wrong, I just think your short-term goals don’t align – even if your long-term ones do. You’ve been together less than a year. That’s a relatively short time. It’s not too late to reevaluate whether this is what you both really want, or whether maybe you need to redefine your relationship and on-line some life. You’re both still so young!

    Honestly, your twenties are for living! For doing all the things you want to do, grabbing every damn opportunity, guilt-free, before you settle into family life.

    If I had the opportunity for all of these amazing trips and experiences with my girl friends, I would hate to feel tied to someone who was going to make me feel guilty for going. Especially if I was looking at a “future” with them; assuming that means owning property and having children together. I could imagine that years down the line, if they held me back from those experiences, and we got married and started a family, I would just end up mourning the life I didn’t have while I had the chance, the energy, the financial freedom, the confidence, and the tight knit friendship group.

    But also, having a close and intimate relationship is clearly important to you; just as important as her travelling is to her. She shouldn’t be expecting you to set your relationship expectations aside just so that she can have fun. NYE means a lot to you and she has dismissed that and that’s not fair. And she can’t be telling you that you ought to be saving for a future if she’s not putting the same in, that’s not fair either.

    Ultimately, she’s dismissing your feelings and you’re dismissing hers too. Sounds like you’re both trying to control each other and make each other into the person you want, instead of embracing the person you actually have – sometimes the idea of someone is perfect, but the reality of them isn’t.

    All of this, I feel, is big ground for future resentment – on both sides. You’re not obliged to try and work it out. It’s okay to accept that they’re not “the one”. You can just let it go.

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