First, it's not your job to help him grow out of red flags. He's an adult. It's his job to get therapy and seek appropriate help to better himself.
Second, it's not the matter of you not cheating so you have nothing to worry about. What if HE believes you're cheating? No matter what you say, he believes it whole-heartedly that you're cheating. If he's really the psycho that he says he is, then he's going to harm you and/or your family. Is that really a risk you want to take? There have been crazy people that kill their partner, their family, and then themselves. It's not uncommon.
Maybe since he's the first guy you've dated you're not seeing this clearly. This is all sorts of wrong. You have all of Reddit telling you to get away from him. Tell your friends and famliy, see what they think.
They say a ring size of 6 is average. Are her fingers more slender or a bit larger than average fingers you’ve seen?
Hold her hand
This isn't the most accurate method but it can be a start if there are no other options. The next time the two of you are holding hands, see if you have a finger that's similarly sized to her ring finger.
If she wants to postpone the divorce because she's into you, then you could just start dating while getting divorced. You've never dated, and there's no guarantee either of you will be happy in the long term.
Seems like she enjoyed the attention, she most likely added then and liked pictures in an indirect attempt to get them to keep providing her with that attention. If I were you I'd keep an eye on the comments that may show up from those guys.
You have alot of hurt from this, but hopefully, your husband will figure out that love isn't something you just feel or not. It involves choice and work. You have to cultivate it and keep it healthy.
You are realizing that love can involve painful waiting and uncertainty. Both of these are naked lessons. Only you know what your tolerance is for that waiting, but you have said two interesting things. First, you have alot invested in this relationship. Second, he is beginning to change. Those facts argue for more patience.
Whatever happens, he is not deciding if you are good enough. He is deciding if he is up to the task of being a more mature intimate, faithful partner. He may not be but who knows? He might be.
I'd recommend seeing a therapist for yourself. It might help you deal with decision-making in the face of uncertainty and fear.
Cheaters are cheaters. There are people who cheat and people who don’t. I never understand people who stay with cheaters. I get it, it’s hard to break up. But it’s also NOT very hot not to cheat. You literally have complete control over your actions in that situation. The problem is they don’t care about you enough not to do it. It’s not a mistake that can be fixed. It’s an action that was taken knowing it was wrong and it would hurt the person they supposedly love. You deserve someone who will not treat you this way. And they exist you just need to find them.
I'm sorry he didn't listen the first time. He is however offering to make it up to you, and I think you should let him. Yeah, it's not going to be as the first time. But the fact he wants to make it up to you says a lot, because he could honestly say it doesn't matter and it's done, so why re do it. Maybe plan something together, and book a photographer so you can get your engagement photos done too. You can't go back in time, but you can try to make the most out of it and have a fun re-do.
Fair enough. And truthfully feel free to reach out to me privately if you have any questions because I assure you I've been there in terms of inexperience.
But this is just a situation where you need to realize that social media follows mean nothing. Now, if it happens and they follow up asking you out and making an effort, well then that situation would certainly mean something.
You just can't make yourself crazy about a follow on its own and/or messages that are logically a complete waste of time. If a guy is into you from a social media perspective, he'll follow you and then tell you the deal. If someone follows you and can't even remotely hold a conversation, they might very well be attracted to you, but they're again wasting your time. Project that towards the future. You think they'll magically be engaging if you two go out? You're more likely to sit across from each other in silence.
He’s a shitty person who wanted to lesson his guilty feelings by spreading them on you, an innocent party.
The only thing a woman can offer you that you can't buy $200 is her loyalty. Women are not worth disloyalty.
First, it's not your job to help him grow out of red flags. He's an adult. It's his job to get therapy and seek appropriate help to better himself.
Second, it's not the matter of you not cheating so you have nothing to worry about. What if HE believes you're cheating? No matter what you say, he believes it whole-heartedly that you're cheating. If he's really the psycho that he says he is, then he's going to harm you and/or your family. Is that really a risk you want to take? There have been crazy people that kill their partner, their family, and then themselves. It's not uncommon.
Maybe since he's the first guy you've dated you're not seeing this clearly. This is all sorts of wrong. You have all of Reddit telling you to get away from him. Tell your friends and famliy, see what they think.
They say a ring size of 6 is average. Are her fingers more slender or a bit larger than average fingers you’ve seen?
Hold her hand
This isn't the most accurate method but it can be a start if there are no other options. The next time the two of you are holding hands, see if you have a finger that's similarly sized to her ring finger.
You'll never have peace in this relationship. Find someone you're more compatible with.
If she wants to postpone the divorce because she's into you, then you could just start dating while getting divorced. You've never dated, and there's no guarantee either of you will be happy in the long term.
That's a huge red flag IMO. Something happened, you did nothing wrong and were completely transparent about it, and she's that upset?
Seems like she enjoyed the attention, she most likely added then and liked pictures in an indirect attempt to get them to keep providing her with that attention. If I were you I'd keep an eye on the comments that may show up from those guys.
You have alot of hurt from this, but hopefully, your husband will figure out that love isn't something you just feel or not. It involves choice and work. You have to cultivate it and keep it healthy.
You are realizing that love can involve painful waiting and uncertainty. Both of these are naked lessons. Only you know what your tolerance is for that waiting, but you have said two interesting things. First, you have alot invested in this relationship. Second, he is beginning to change. Those facts argue for more patience.
Whatever happens, he is not deciding if you are good enough. He is deciding if he is up to the task of being a more mature intimate, faithful partner. He may not be but who knows? He might be.
I'd recommend seeing a therapist for yourself. It might help you deal with decision-making in the face of uncertainty and fear.
Cheaters are cheaters. There are people who cheat and people who don’t. I never understand people who stay with cheaters. I get it, it’s hard to break up. But it’s also NOT very hot not to cheat. You literally have complete control over your actions in that situation. The problem is they don’t care about you enough not to do it. It’s not a mistake that can be fixed. It’s an action that was taken knowing it was wrong and it would hurt the person they supposedly love. You deserve someone who will not treat you this way. And they exist you just need to find them.
I don't agree with their suggestion. She talked about what she wanted to with you already and had all the interaction she wanted to.
If she has questions she will reach out. Stalking her is not the right action here.
Yeah ur right I realised I was stupidly defending myself so I deleted it
I'm sorry he didn't listen the first time. He is however offering to make it up to you, and I think you should let him. Yeah, it's not going to be as the first time. But the fact he wants to make it up to you says a lot, because he could honestly say it doesn't matter and it's done, so why re do it. Maybe plan something together, and book a photographer so you can get your engagement photos done too. You can't go back in time, but you can try to make the most out of it and have a fun re-do.
Fair enough. And truthfully feel free to reach out to me privately if you have any questions because I assure you I've been there in terms of inexperience.
But this is just a situation where you need to realize that social media follows mean nothing. Now, if it happens and they follow up asking you out and making an effort, well then that situation would certainly mean something.
You just can't make yourself crazy about a follow on its own and/or messages that are logically a complete waste of time. If a guy is into you from a social media perspective, he'll follow you and then tell you the deal. If someone follows you and can't even remotely hold a conversation, they might very well be attracted to you, but they're again wasting your time. Project that towards the future. You think they'll magically be engaging if you two go out? You're more likely to sit across from each other in silence.