Man, I don’t know the way these younger guys are playing it. My husband waited until he knew he could pay every bill and support himself and a family BEFORE he ventured into marriage and children. I’ve worked when my son’s schedule allowed it, and would stop when it didn’t. We never needed my money. It was always extra and used on my son’s extracurricular activities. Men didn’t used to resent being loving providers. It makes my husband feel good, not resentful. This is all just sad to me.
In reality, I don't think anyone is truly has an idea of how naked parenthood is before doing it bc if they were, maybe 5% of people would still choose to do it. I think it's some evolutionary thing, like women being able to forget the pain of childbirth to have more than one.
This makes me so sad, please don't stress about “life ruining” as your uncle already made the decision to do that to his life (and partly yours to!). This way of thinking sounds like you may have internalised some of the messages your parents reinforced around preserving reputation and etc which of course is not your fault – BUT keeping quiet protects your uncle rather than protecting your at-risk brother.
As another poster mentioned, there is the possibility that something has already happened and your brother doesn't know who to turn to and this conversation would help him speak up if he feels uncomfortable. I don't even think you need to be like “hey X is a sex offender” you can be more casual and try to gauge him by asking how work is going and if he feels comfortable and safe around the man, and then progress from their depend on how your brothers responds. Best of luck OP, I'm so sorry that you're going through this!
How is he supposed to know its your birthday if you dont tell him?
Why are you stalking his exes? They’re irrelevant to your relationship with this guy.
If he did not ask to be exclusive, he is not. If he is making a big deal out of cheating on social, follow your gut about his actions on social. He sounds controlling and annoying.
No way sorry he needs to go, why would you still be talking to him or thinking about letting him home,
Your daughter come before any relationship you have and that includes the one with her father, she is priority, and the fact she doesn't want anything to do with him would be enough for me to cut ties with him, and let him work on himself and eventually building a relationship with his child whether it be one year or 10 years that up to her.
You gave him to many chances in my opinion especially considering you have a daughter to set an example for, and all you have shown he is how to be someone else emotional punching bag and put up with it??♀️
He had 3 chances to many and its been 17years, you can't on-line a life because of him and he abuse, he knows what he was doing he not oblivious to it, he just didn't care enough to get help.
And now finally you kicked him out and he trying ? to little to late.
He made your daughter feel like she had no option but to want to take her own life?? And your talking to him like he away on vacation?? Stop worrying about HIM or YOURSELF because you never been alone and put that girl first.
End the relationship with him, file for divorce and be there for her. Because in the end if you don't, you will BOTH lose her, and then you will be stuck with no one but a drunk.
Me and my girlfriend has been through hell and back. We’ve been together for over a year now. We had our fair share of rough patches and a lot of amazing memories. I love her. I neglected to see what she was trying to tell me. I refused to see what she meant. She asked me to change and I tried but every time I did it’s not what she wanted. I finally understand what she wanted so badly. I haven’t been able to sleep more than a hour a night in almost a week. I haven’t been able to eat. Every time I do I throw it up within a few minutes. My doctor said I’m severely malnourished. My therapist is considering submitting me to a hospital. I’m lost. I’ve asked her to talk just for 5 minutes so we can come to a conclusion. So we can either work this out or end things. I want her. I want us more than anything. We both just lost our grandmothers. My grandmother was the last of my family. I’m by my self now. I can’t afford my rent because the price got increased 400 extra a month. I’m stuck with deciding on this. I can either move far away. With friends and give up on what we had or I can stay and pray. This is my fault. I know I deserve all of this pain. I know I don’t deserve her after she treated me with me in such caring and loving way. I’m thinking about going to her house in the morning before she starts her day. I would go after she gets off work but she hasn’t went home after work at all in the last week. Would give anything for her to forgive me and my stupidity. I would do anything just to hear her voice. I’m desperate and I need answers because If I wait any longer I’m going to have to leave. I don’t want to. I want to stay here. I want a future with her. Like I said I know I deserve this I know I don’t deserve her. But I need her. I need her to know that I’m finally what she wants. So please someone guide me.
That's the part I didn't understand, if he's a cheater, you have to decide if you feel you can trust him. If you can't, I do not recommend you stay it'll only hurt you in the long run.
i’ll explain on here to give others a chance to read if they’re interested but i am also comfortable chatting privately. we had a conversation earlier tonight and he admitted that he is not as into this relationship as before. not because of me or our relationship in general because he says both are perfect, but he rushed into our relationship soon after his old one ended and he’s been considering if he would be happier single or with me since i do make him happy. we are both so young and it’s completely understandable where he’s coming from. i’ve been feeling that way at points too, wondering what i would be like as a person if i had more time to be on my own, because i too got out of a serious relationship right before we met. it’s starting to feel like right person wrong time, but i’m just confused on how i feel about all of this. we’re taking the weekend to think on it and i just don’t know what i want.
Man, if you wife wants to quit smoking the least you can do for her is smoking when she is not around. That way you would show her a minimum of empathy. When you are smoking in front of her you are sabotaging her. Quitting smoking is quite stressful. Don't understimate the effect it has on your partner.
Anyway, man , do you want to remain friends so she can mantain your lifestyle? Now we know what really matters to you.
You should work on changing your perspective, and you should communicate honestly with your husband who probably would not put his job above his family if he knew.
Ethical non monogamy can happen, but not like this. It was so disrespectful and manipulative of them, and they don't seem to even acknowledge that.
As someone in a dead bedroom I agree. You'll begin to resent him and you'll hate yourself for it.
You're 19 and already cheating basically, break it off and go sow your wild oats
This is so dramatic
Man, I don’t know the way these younger guys are playing it. My husband waited until he knew he could pay every bill and support himself and a family BEFORE he ventured into marriage and children. I’ve worked when my son’s schedule allowed it, and would stop when it didn’t. We never needed my money. It was always extra and used on my son’s extracurricular activities. Men didn’t used to resent being loving providers. It makes my husband feel good, not resentful. This is all just sad to me.
In reality, I don't think anyone is truly has an idea of how naked parenthood is before doing it bc if they were, maybe 5% of people would still choose to do it. I think it's some evolutionary thing, like women being able to forget the pain of childbirth to have more than one.
This makes me so sad, please don't stress about “life ruining” as your uncle already made the decision to do that to his life (and partly yours to!). This way of thinking sounds like you may have internalised some of the messages your parents reinforced around preserving reputation and etc which of course is not your fault – BUT keeping quiet protects your uncle rather than protecting your at-risk brother.
As another poster mentioned, there is the possibility that something has already happened and your brother doesn't know who to turn to and this conversation would help him speak up if he feels uncomfortable. I don't even think you need to be like “hey X is a sex offender” you can be more casual and try to gauge him by asking how work is going and if he feels comfortable and safe around the man, and then progress from their depend on how your brothers responds. Best of luck OP, I'm so sorry that you're going through this!
How is he supposed to know its your birthday if you dont tell him?
Why are you stalking his exes? They’re irrelevant to your relationship with this guy.
If he did not ask to be exclusive, he is not. If he is making a big deal out of cheating on social, follow your gut about his actions on social. He sounds controlling and annoying.
Ok, then change it to “that” and the rest stands.
Is he possibly a cross dresser?
Drugs. Im thinking naked drugs. Thats why the door HAS to be shut.
Theres something very fishy going on here.
It’s bad for the septic and/or sewage system. They can get jammed in your plumbing as well. Only tissue should be flushed.
No way sorry he needs to go, why would you still be talking to him or thinking about letting him home,
Your daughter come before any relationship you have and that includes the one with her father, she is priority, and the fact she doesn't want anything to do with him would be enough for me to cut ties with him, and let him work on himself and eventually building a relationship with his child whether it be one year or 10 years that up to her.
You gave him to many chances in my opinion especially considering you have a daughter to set an example for, and all you have shown he is how to be someone else emotional punching bag and put up with it??♀️
He had 3 chances to many and its been 17years, you can't on-line a life because of him and he abuse, he knows what he was doing he not oblivious to it, he just didn't care enough to get help.
And now finally you kicked him out and he trying ? to little to late.
He made your daughter feel like she had no option but to want to take her own life?? And your talking to him like he away on vacation?? Stop worrying about HIM or YOURSELF because you never been alone and put that girl first.
End the relationship with him, file for divorce and be there for her. Because in the end if you don't, you will BOTH lose her, and then you will be stuck with no one but a drunk.
Wow. Tell him his dick is obviously too small.
You don't want anal. That's a nude no. Pun intended.
If he doesn't respect that and still goes for your back door, stand up, pull up your trousers, and walk the fuck away.
Me and my girlfriend has been through hell and back. We’ve been together for over a year now. We had our fair share of rough patches and a lot of amazing memories. I love her. I neglected to see what she was trying to tell me. I refused to see what she meant. She asked me to change and I tried but every time I did it’s not what she wanted. I finally understand what she wanted so badly. I haven’t been able to sleep more than a hour a night in almost a week. I haven’t been able to eat. Every time I do I throw it up within a few minutes. My doctor said I’m severely malnourished. My therapist is considering submitting me to a hospital. I’m lost. I’ve asked her to talk just for 5 minutes so we can come to a conclusion. So we can either work this out or end things. I want her. I want us more than anything. We both just lost our grandmothers. My grandmother was the last of my family. I’m by my self now. I can’t afford my rent because the price got increased 400 extra a month. I’m stuck with deciding on this. I can either move far away. With friends and give up on what we had or I can stay and pray. This is my fault. I know I deserve all of this pain. I know I don’t deserve her after she treated me with me in such caring and loving way. I’m thinking about going to her house in the morning before she starts her day. I would go after she gets off work but she hasn’t went home after work at all in the last week. Would give anything for her to forgive me and my stupidity. I would do anything just to hear her voice. I’m desperate and I need answers because If I wait any longer I’m going to have to leave. I don’t want to. I want to stay here. I want a future with her. Like I said I know I deserve this I know I don’t deserve her. But I need her. I need her to know that I’m finally what she wants. So please someone guide me.
Can’t say I blame you.
That's the part I didn't understand, if he's a cheater, you have to decide if you feel you can trust him. If you can't, I do not recommend you stay it'll only hurt you in the long run.
i’ll explain on here to give others a chance to read if they’re interested but i am also comfortable chatting privately. we had a conversation earlier tonight and he admitted that he is not as into this relationship as before. not because of me or our relationship in general because he says both are perfect, but he rushed into our relationship soon after his old one ended and he’s been considering if he would be happier single or with me since i do make him happy. we are both so young and it’s completely understandable where he’s coming from. i’ve been feeling that way at points too, wondering what i would be like as a person if i had more time to be on my own, because i too got out of a serious relationship right before we met. it’s starting to feel like right person wrong time, but i’m just confused on how i feel about all of this. we’re taking the weekend to think on it and i just don’t know what i want.
Tell her you aren’t interested. Honesty works.
50 dollars says he is full of shit. Cheating once may be a mistake 3x is an agenda
Man, if you wife wants to quit smoking the least you can do for her is smoking when she is not around. That way you would show her a minimum of empathy. When you are smoking in front of her you are sabotaging her. Quitting smoking is quite stressful. Don't understimate the effect it has on your partner.
Anyway, man , do you want to remain friends so she can mantain your lifestyle? Now we know what really matters to you.
You should work on changing your perspective, and you should communicate honestly with your husband who probably would not put his job above his family if he knew.
Yes.
So how did he feel about you posting about this a bunch live?
So interesting. It could be also a kink or something particular that he asks you to do that is giving him post-coital depression