that wasn't a mistake, it was a deliberate choice on her part. she will view it as a mistake only if it doesn't work out and she needs to come crawling back to you.
a few times throughout my relationship with my boyfriend, he has violated sexual boundaries that I have set.
The key words here are “a few times”. Boundaries are not boundaries if you let somebody continuously ignore them. If you can't stand up for yourself, you have no business being in a relationship, especially one with such a disrespectful partner.
Oooh okay, like future future. I think I understand. If you're considering a longer term break then yeah. Both of you go act single and see where life takes you. If you reconnect in the future, that's life.
My approach is geared towards a shorter timeframe (1 – 6 months). Anything beyond that, just let each-other go and be completely free.
Wrote the below out before I understood you meant.
Shorter timeframe:
The thing is, you need to build trust if you're going to reconnect. Proving to you that he didn't go explore from now until that conversation is had… would have been a good step in rebuilding things.
For a chance at reconnecting, I am focused on her. Would he take that chance?
But I think this whole situation is a mess and poorly handled.
You two broke up, but where fwb. What kind of parameters was that? Sweet! I get a perk of sex without the effort/commitment? AND I get to explore the dating scene? Awesome, let me take advantage of all of that! Have you seen other people? No Have you seen other people? No Have you seen other people? No Oh shit. Her friend knows that I have seen someone else? Well, she is going to find out anyways, might as well come clean and salvage what I can. You lied this whole time!! You broke my trust! You hurt me! Please let me make it up to you. You're everything I ever wanted.
How to start making it up:
How much does he value that chance at reconnecting? Can he go independent and still be focused on you?
Anyways. I still lean towards against it. It will probably do you good to shake your life up and try something new out. Be liberated from all of these complications. Get a taste of your real independence and let go. That is my genuine advice.
And there's your answer she wants you to be the good guy that takes care of her and her daughter but the fact she still flirting with the ex shows she still wants the bad boy. Really think about that do you want to sign up for that cuz you're not what she wants she's realized you're what's good for her. Don't be that guy
Ultimately, no, you don’t need his “permission”. If you’ve worked out your budget and know what you can afford, then do what you need to do to feel safe on the road.
Add up how much you’ve spent on repairs to your cars in the park couple years and show him it’s more cost effective to be paying a car loan on a reliable car than waiting until you’re broken down on the side of the road, or worse, in a car accident because your car falls apart while you drive it.
If my partner said these things to me it would be my divorce attorney in the delivery room.
Sounds like he’s been hitting the porn naked. Or is has a crush/is already cheating with someone who has this body type.
Your carrying his child and he’s withholding intimacy because you gained a bit of weight? He’s checked out of this relationship. Lawyer up and protect both your children. If he’s this checked out during your pregnancy he’s going to be checked out with this baby when it comes.
That was cold, I would end the relationship. In the future you need to work on not relying on validation from others so much. Don't be jealous of a cat, and don't ask someone if you're perfect because that puts them in a weird spot.
You’re right, thanks for making me open my eyes. I was really short sighted on that topic.
that wasn't a mistake, it was a deliberate choice on her part. she will view it as a mistake only if it doesn't work out and she needs to come crawling back to you.
That scenario is not equivocal as OP is not the other parent.
a few times throughout my relationship with my boyfriend, he has violated sexual boundaries that I have set.
The key words here are “a few times”. Boundaries are not boundaries if you let somebody continuously ignore them. If you can't stand up for yourself, you have no business being in a relationship, especially one with such a disrespectful partner.
Oooh okay, like future future. I think I understand. If you're considering a longer term break then yeah. Both of you go act single and see where life takes you. If you reconnect in the future, that's life.
My approach is geared towards a shorter timeframe (1 – 6 months). Anything beyond that, just let each-other go and be completely free.
Wrote the below out before I understood you meant.
Shorter timeframe:
The thing is, you need to build trust if you're going to reconnect. Proving to you that he didn't go explore from now until that conversation is had… would have been a good step in rebuilding things.
For a chance at reconnecting, I am focused on her. Would he take that chance?
But I think this whole situation is a mess and poorly handled.
You two broke up, but where fwb. What kind of parameters was that? Sweet! I get a perk of sex without the effort/commitment? AND I get to explore the dating scene? Awesome, let me take advantage of all of that! Have you seen other people? No Have you seen other people? No Have you seen other people? No Oh shit. Her friend knows that I have seen someone else? Well, she is going to find out anyways, might as well come clean and salvage what I can. You lied this whole time!! You broke my trust! You hurt me! Please let me make it up to you. You're everything I ever wanted.
How to start making it up:
How much does he value that chance at reconnecting? Can he go independent and still be focused on you?
Anyways. I still lean towards against it. It will probably do you good to shake your life up and try something new out. Be liberated from all of these complications. Get a taste of your real independence and let go. That is my genuine advice.
And there's your answer she wants you to be the good guy that takes care of her and her daughter but the fact she still flirting with the ex shows she still wants the bad boy. Really think about that do you want to sign up for that cuz you're not what she wants she's realized you're what's good for her. Don't be that guy
Ultimately, no, you don’t need his “permission”. If you’ve worked out your budget and know what you can afford, then do what you need to do to feel safe on the road.
Add up how much you’ve spent on repairs to your cars in the park couple years and show him it’s more cost effective to be paying a car loan on a reliable car than waiting until you’re broken down on the side of the road, or worse, in a car accident because your car falls apart while you drive it.
there’s nothing explicitly non platonic
Girl, at this point he could fuck her in front of you and tell her he loved her and you’d still think “oh, they are just buddies”.
If my partner said these things to me it would be my divorce attorney in the delivery room.
Sounds like he’s been hitting the porn naked. Or is has a crush/is already cheating with someone who has this body type.
Your carrying his child and he’s withholding intimacy because you gained a bit of weight? He’s checked out of this relationship. Lawyer up and protect both your children. If he’s this checked out during your pregnancy he’s going to be checked out with this baby when it comes.
That was cold, I would end the relationship. In the future you need to work on not relying on validation from others so much. Don't be jealous of a cat, and don't ask someone if you're perfect because that puts them in a weird spot.
He needs to see a gastroenterologist. He’s got something going on.
Most men would take that as an invitation to have sex with you and some would take the opportunity for an easy fuck.
It's a weird gift to send someone who wasn't talking to you.
So I’m not trippin for thinking that was a weird move