When the flaws appear, it’s your job to mitigate them and see if they are things you can jive with. That’s what relationships are all about
Your current partners flaw is that he doesn’t respect you or your relationship, and is willing to gaslight you to not stop stepping out on you. The decision, though difficult, is real obvious from where I’m sitting
I think to him it feels that way because trauma inflames the victims sensitivities to whatever traumatized them initially. His father was probably very critical and demeaning and so any criticism takes him back to that shame his father instilled in him. Like a confirmation that his father was right. His nervous system probably gets set ablaze by any perceived threat and he deals with that threat how he learned to as a child; to Freeze or fawn. If he likes audiobooks or videos, get him to check out Gabor Maté on trauma. If he listens and compassionately inquires about himself, he'll be able to definitely get something helpful from it.
you’re acting as if her anger wasn’t a warranted response to her bf literally liking all of his “highschool friends” nsfw pics.. like cmon now
No relationship is “perfect” or “flawless”
People are flawed
When the flaws appear, it’s your job to mitigate them and see if they are things you can jive with. That’s what relationships are all about
Your current partners flaw is that he doesn’t respect you or your relationship, and is willing to gaslight you to not stop stepping out on you. The decision, though difficult, is real obvious from where I’m sitting
All of this!
I think to him it feels that way because trauma inflames the victims sensitivities to whatever traumatized them initially. His father was probably very critical and demeaning and so any criticism takes him back to that shame his father instilled in him. Like a confirmation that his father was right. His nervous system probably gets set ablaze by any perceived threat and he deals with that threat how he learned to as a child; to Freeze or fawn. If he likes audiobooks or videos, get him to check out Gabor Maté on trauma. If he listens and compassionately inquires about himself, he'll be able to definitely get something helpful from it.
not fuck you for being wrong
fuck you for essentially accusing OP of lying
Just going to write a little thank you card to my urologist after reading this.