Ah, to be young again. You sound like me when I was with my first serious boyfriend at the age of 15. I don’t even miss him now. Time has a way of lessening pain, and life always works out how it’s supposed to. You’ll look back in a decade and this won’t seem to matter at all. So hang in there, stop hanging out with him, and let yourself grow and find bigger and better things.
I noticed this happens often. There are so many times over the years when my relationships ended where my ex boyfriends friends would try to get with me behind their back the second they found out I was single. It made me feel sorry for my exes. I think you should end the friendship because would he have done that while you were still together? He didn’t even respect you enough to check in with you. It’s especially bad if the break up was ugly because what kind of friend would want to be intimate with someone who caused his friend suffering?
You've developed an identity that has put you in his shadow.
This was not your choice. It is not your fault.
Now is when you get to choose for yourself.
Do you choose you, when others won't, or will you continue to tell yourself that you matter less?
This is a pivotal moment that will shape the rest of your life.
I'm not talking about a graduation ceremony versus a wedding.
I'm talking about you recognising that you matter. You are important. You have worth. You are amazing.
Imagine yourself the day after.
Do you want to be the version of you who advocated for yourself celebrated your success and put yourself first?
Or do you want to be the version of you who represents the failures of your parents who wouldn't love you equally, or prioritise you, or make you feel special?
Doing anything for the first time is scary. The unfamiliar can be overwhelming.
But you should face those fears and do it anyway.
Congratulations on your achievement. Your future patients are in amazing hands.
Also, FWIW, my parents didn't show me attention, affection or love… but my friends did. That's what got me out of rock bottom. Anyone celebrating with you at the ceremony won't be pitying you. They are doing what your parents won't. They are making you feel special. Hold on to that. And hold your head high.
Ah, to be young again. You sound like me when I was with my first serious boyfriend at the age of 15. I don’t even miss him now. Time has a way of lessening pain, and life always works out how it’s supposed to. You’ll look back in a decade and this won’t seem to matter at all. So hang in there, stop hanging out with him, and let yourself grow and find bigger and better things.
I noticed this happens often. There are so many times over the years when my relationships ended where my ex boyfriends friends would try to get with me behind their back the second they found out I was single. It made me feel sorry for my exes. I think you should end the friendship because would he have done that while you were still together? He didn’t even respect you enough to check in with you. It’s especially bad if the break up was ugly because what kind of friend would want to be intimate with someone who caused his friend suffering?
Seems like an awful lot of effort…
Yes, just build that relationship on lies, yes that'll work out
Please read the paragraph with the bolded text.
It won't be best for you.
You've developed an identity that has put you in his shadow.
This was not your choice. It is not your fault.
Now is when you get to choose for yourself.
Do you choose you, when others won't, or will you continue to tell yourself that you matter less?
This is a pivotal moment that will shape the rest of your life.
I'm not talking about a graduation ceremony versus a wedding.
I'm talking about you recognising that you matter. You are important. You have worth. You are amazing.
Imagine yourself the day after.
Do you want to be the version of you who advocated for yourself celebrated your success and put yourself first?
Or do you want to be the version of you who represents the failures of your parents who wouldn't love you equally, or prioritise you, or make you feel special?
Doing anything for the first time is scary. The unfamiliar can be overwhelming.
But you should face those fears and do it anyway.
Congratulations on your achievement. Your future patients are in amazing hands.
Also, FWIW, my parents didn't show me attention, affection or love… but my friends did. That's what got me out of rock bottom. Anyone celebrating with you at the ceremony won't be pitying you. They are doing what your parents won't. They are making you feel special. Hold on to that. And hold your head high.
This is a pattern already, it is certainly not wise to stay with him, leave him.