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Date: October 7, 2022
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Tell her to talk to her hubby.
Don't tell reddit about it man. Identify your problems and the things that trigger shitty behavior. You already have an understanding it sounds like. Change them. Then do better. It's not enough to just change you need to make up for what happened. Be prepared to not be accepted anyway. I had shitty behavior and a girl I loved left me and she wouldn't come back after I worked on myself because of what I put her through. That's fine. You aren't changing for her first you're changing for you first. Then you can try to start over. Have willpower and self discipline. Good luck.
Multiple affairs… multiple… why would you go back to that? Girl, move forward with the divorce, and move on. Start dating. Why you agreeing not to????
Welp she shouldn’t be surprised when she ends up in the middle of the lake
Yeah I never thought of that, thank you !
I think she was trying to get you in the mood tbh. I can’t imagine dry humping was the goal, but more like foreplay.
That being said, you were uncomfortable and you felt unheard/uncared for after the incident. Those are all valid feelings.
You need to talk to her again. Tell her how the way she is handling this makes you feel. Tell her what consent means to you (cause believe it or not, most people aren’t on the same page with this). She made you feel unsafe, and she cannot think that’s ok. Better communication is needed.
I was 18 when I was in a relationship with a 24 year old man. At the time I was flattered an older guy would see value in me and it felt like a huge win so I pursued him, he set it up so I’d feel like the one to be initiating things. That is a ruse. It happened to you too and I’m sorry but you’ve fallen for it. This is a grooming tactic.
In retrospect, I know exactly why he wanted to be with me. I was inexperienced, sexually attractive to him, and would likely have low standards in the relationship with no framework of reference or past relationship lessons to go off of.
Now that I am 26, and date someone who is 27 with a similar level of relationship and life experience, I think about what it would be like to try to date someone 20, 21 or whatever. I’d feel like I were dating a child. My boyfriend and I have talked about this very topic before when I described my first relationship, and he says he could never ever imagine dating someone in their teens or even early twenties. A six year age gap doesn’t mean much when you’re forty or fifty etc. but I’m your teen years and early twenties you are in a process that involves a TON of personal growth, evolution, establishing yourself as an adult. It’s about the phase of life you are in.
Your prefrontal cortex is not finished developing. Your ability to foresee and anticipate consequences to your choices isn’t fully there yet because of SCIENCE, and this man is and will continue to take advantage of that.
Holy smokes, this was tiring to read. I can't believe people live like this and have expectations of others like this. I'm sorry you're life is going this way, op. We don't get days back in life, so I hope you are doing something to start really living, soon. You're wife is mentally ill, but it's so ingrained, I don't think there is much to do about it, if she won't try to fix herself. You should start making decisions for yourself.
Yeah, no full stop. He is clearly wanting to sleep with other women (probably already has someone in mind) while you do what? Just sit around and wait for him to come back, which there is no grantee he will come back. Ask him if you can sleep with other men during this “break” I doubt he wants that but the main issue is even if you refuse there’s nothing stopping him from cheating, he just wanted a way to do it that wouldn’t cause problems but it would even if you agreed. Let him go and find a man to respects you enough to never ask such a ridiculous thing in the first place.
Move into a apartment with your sister.
Get on your feet.
Boyfriend with have his space to game smoke weed and wake up to the fact he needs to buckle down a bit to cover bills
If he gave you one of the rooms for your space and study I would say move in but he is not.
Chances are you will be forced to drop out of school and take a job just to cover his rent.
Go with sister stay in school get a good job then buy a place.
I know it's easier said than done, but try not to direct your anger at the therapist. For starters, you have no proof her therapist actually told her to do that, and conveniently enough you will never be able to uncover that because of confidentiality laws. But whether her therapist actually told her to lie or not is besides the point.
Your gf is almost 30. She's a grown ass woman. The reason she didn't tell you is because she didn't want to. Not because someone told her not to.
He sounds like he’s gas lighting you. I would do the nanny cam like someone suggested, better to find out sooner than later.
I mean… he says he believes you won’t understand him? So he’s indirectly calling you ‘dumb’ or not emotionally intelligent enough to understand what he’s trying to say? To me, that’s a huge red flag. It sounds like he thinks he’s this super smart, amazing ‘God’s gift to the planet’ guy who has to talk down to everyone since he’s on another level.
Idk. I mean it seems like he doesn’t really know how to have a mature discussion or a mature way to resolve any type of conflict.
I suppose you could pick up a self-help book about improving communication between couples. See if he’d read it with you.
If he continues to refuse to try to change or if you notice it’s worse or he’s just continuing to be a jerk, unfortunately, consider cutting your losses and moving on because he likely won’t change if he truly feels he needs no improvement.
Okay, spill the beans.
How long ago have this subordinate of yours and his open-minded wide offered you a threesome?
Because, honestly, your replies are sketchy as frick.
Shit on his dick …….. for some reason was my first thought out of anger but I’m also laughing because that was my first thought. Guaranteed he won’t do it again ?
Even if it's her only her exes, that would still be inappropriately controlling.
Why would you need someone to block people before you start dating. Before you know it will last or that you want commitment with that person specifically?
Yeah, that's unhealthy, too.
update: i talked with my boyfriend about this again and shared everyone’s responses and he made me feel really safe and secure. he validated my feelings and understands why it’s naked for me and told me he’s happy to give me reassurance whenever i need it especially when it comes to times they will hang out. i know it will still be hot for me to sit with the icky feelings that may come up when they want to hang out bc that’s the nature of my insecurity and also ocd tendencies, but im not going to let it control my behavior or control my sweet and loving boyfriend. thank you all (:
He gave up on you a long time now. Help your kid
i thought abt a letter i think that might work. he’s not on the lease at all thank god