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Date: October 11, 2022
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Just because they are blood doesn't mean they can't be cut off from your life for being toxic. If you have to buy their love then you don't want them in your life anyway. What kind of “family” or “friends” manipulates and takes advantage of someone they love.
Yeah this is tough for her too. I know in an ideal world you would want to talk and work through it together but it will be a big shock for her too. But people are different in how they process things. That's OK and that's allowed as long as it's not being destructive
You've said it doesn't seem like the mother wants anything from you or even for the kid to know you are their dad by the sounds of it. You're gf will be having all these thoughts about you suddenly being a father, getting involved in her life, potential future connections with her. That if you have kids it won't be your first with her and she was never expecting that in her life.
She just needs some time. You'll never be in situation where your fiance just goes… “I've just found out I have an 11 year old.” Imagine how you'd fee though, if she was suddenly telling you she was a mother and gave up her kid when she was young, and now she someone found out the kid is nearby. They family don't see like the want anything from her but you've no idea if that might change, the kid might want to know her real mum, that might suddenly become a part of your life, your finances, your time.
What is with everyone and the biphobia. That’s not how bisexuality works. Most bisexual people in a relationship are committed to their partner in the same way most straight people or gay people are committed to their partner. Yeah you get some people who cheat but you get that in every sexuality
If your GF isn’t secure enough in the relationship to trust you enough to have friends that are women then that’s a huge red flag. She may have had past relationships that have left her scarred with cheating, but you need to talk to her that she’s being too protective and that she needs to trust you that you wont cheat. Work together to find alternative ways to make her feel secure in the relationship, but if she continues to prevent you from interacting with other people than you need to leave.
Uh huh…?
I agree with this but also, if over a month or a few months you find that he is putting the effort in but you just can't relax/see him the same way, that's not your fault and a perfectly valid reason to leave.