Is he seeing a therapist? Cause a depressive episode lasting months is plenty of ground for a clinical depression diagnosis(as far as I know) and with a diagnosis he can get proper treatment.
You keep telling showing your kid a fake “fixed” home, where the mom the cheats on the dad and he takes all the abuse like a dog. Then your son sees this as normal and grows up to be like you. Gets abused and cheated on but thinks it's ok because his dad did it. You kids will follow your example, not your words.
If she is being manipulated/guilted, perhaps you can gently talk with her. It’s very possible she feels guilty for living a comfortable life while they struggle.
I know a couple where the wife came from a trashy family. Her husband started a business and did very well and her relatives crawled out of the woodwork with their hands out and constantly guilted her and totally acted like she owed them.
If that’s the case, with your girlfriend, they won’t stop so she either needs to learn how to deal with them in a healthy way.
It’s still outrageous that she expects you to support them though.
This is not normal in any way. If you have talked to him and he isn’t changing he is not respecting you at all and continues to hurt you. My husband is almost a foot taller than me and quite muscular and he has never hurt me. It sounds like your bf gets off on causing you pain. You deserve so much better. You’ve already talked to him and he hasn’t changed and he never will. Please walk away. Actually I mean RUN
Exactly this. My husband put is hand on my neck during sex once when we first got together. Cue panic attack from a past abusive relationship. He's never put his hand on my neck since.
as a woman with adhd who is also 28 weeks pregnant, today i swept and mopped the entire house, cleaned the bathroom, the kitchen, made dinner and still had plenty of time to scroll mindlessly through reddit. it’s a cop out.
You’re gonna have to match forward and act natural. Hopefully MIL will behave. If she doesn’t, there’s not much you can do about it except limit contact.
There can be advantages to calling a spade a spade. Maybe he is caught up in the moment and doesn't realize how much he is hurting you, so the sooner you two have a conversation about that and can start mending that, the better. Or maybe he really is a jerk and doesn't care about your feelings and the sooner you realize that and end things the better. Either way, calling out the behavior can (if you feel safe doing so) be a way either help him realize or help solidify to you that he is a jerk who doesn't care about your feelings.
“Look, I'm trying to be understanding of your fetishes and desires, but I've told you multiple times that these conversations make me uncomfortable and that you are violating my boundaries by continually trying to coerce me into doing something I don't want to do. It makes me feel like you care more about getting your rocks off than my feelings and is really driving a wedge between us. I can't imagine this is your intention, so may I ask what you expect to happen as you keep doing this?”
A loving healthy partner would be able to set their lust/desires aside, and even set their shame aside if this makes them defensive and meet you with compassion and understanding, taking accountability, and apologizing. An unhealthy partner will get defensive, shift the blame to you somehow, or otherwise make it your fault.
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Is he seeing a therapist? Cause a depressive episode lasting months is plenty of ground for a clinical depression diagnosis(as far as I know) and with a diagnosis he can get proper treatment.
Break up with her. She has no empathy, loyalty and respect.
I think it was wrong for you to hit him, but I also dont think it make you an abuser or a bad girlfriend
You keep telling showing your kid a fake “fixed” home, where the mom the cheats on the dad and he takes all the abuse like a dog. Then your son sees this as normal and grows up to be like you. Gets abused and cheated on but thinks it's ok because his dad did it. You kids will follow your example, not your words.
If she is being manipulated/guilted, perhaps you can gently talk with her. It’s very possible she feels guilty for living a comfortable life while they struggle.
I know a couple where the wife came from a trashy family. Her husband started a business and did very well and her relatives crawled out of the woodwork with their hands out and constantly guilted her and totally acted like she owed them.
If that’s the case, with your girlfriend, they won’t stop so she either needs to learn how to deal with them in a healthy way.
It’s still outrageous that she expects you to support them though.
So nazis’ feelings of hatred towards marginalized groups are valid?
This is not normal in any way. If you have talked to him and he isn’t changing he is not respecting you at all and continues to hurt you. My husband is almost a foot taller than me and quite muscular and he has never hurt me. It sounds like your bf gets off on causing you pain. You deserve so much better. You’ve already talked to him and he hasn’t changed and he never will. Please walk away. Actually I mean RUN
Exactly this. My husband put is hand on my neck during sex once when we first got together. Cue panic attack from a past abusive relationship. He's never put his hand on my neck since.
as a woman with adhd who is also 28 weeks pregnant, today i swept and mopped the entire house, cleaned the bathroom, the kitchen, made dinner and still had plenty of time to scroll mindlessly through reddit. it’s a cop out.
You’re gonna have to match forward and act natural. Hopefully MIL will behave. If she doesn’t, there’s not much you can do about it except limit contact.
There can be advantages to calling a spade a spade. Maybe he is caught up in the moment and doesn't realize how much he is hurting you, so the sooner you two have a conversation about that and can start mending that, the better. Or maybe he really is a jerk and doesn't care about your feelings and the sooner you realize that and end things the better. Either way, calling out the behavior can (if you feel safe doing so) be a way either help him realize or help solidify to you that he is a jerk who doesn't care about your feelings.
“Look, I'm trying to be understanding of your fetishes and desires, but I've told you multiple times that these conversations make me uncomfortable and that you are violating my boundaries by continually trying to coerce me into doing something I don't want to do. It makes me feel like you care more about getting your rocks off than my feelings and is really driving a wedge between us. I can't imagine this is your intention, so may I ask what you expect to happen as you keep doing this?”
A loving healthy partner would be able to set their lust/desires aside, and even set their shame aside if this makes them defensive and meet you with compassion and understanding, taking accountability, and apologizing. An unhealthy partner will get defensive, shift the blame to you somehow, or otherwise make it your fault.