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Control me 3 times and take my snap for free!
Date: September 23, 2022
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I was in a situation like this, except we all lived in the same city, and the girl lived down the street from me. It lasted a good 3 year. And I bought the guy a car and basically funded his entire 2nd life, in hindsight.
When it all became clear, I cut him off; took everything back including the car he would let her drive with his children in it (I had no clue about). I started dating again. But the cut off was so severe he would stalked me on dating apps. So I had a lot of evidence and the same mindframe as you. Best part was, I knew who she was. BUT, I didn’t do it. The proximity was too close, and the potential of children being hurt was high. Plus she is kinda ghetto/hood.
They ended up getting married and a year after that she realized she fucked up. Everything he had and lost was because he was a cheating liar.
I find a good amount of joy when I see her glaring at me in public, in the car that he used to drive, as she realizes it’s the same license plate, it’s the same window hangings, and it wasn’t his. I was the other woman that funded your lifestyle and now you’re struggle with your choice to remain ignorant (awe, you poor thing).
Although my emotions were bruised – I lost nothing.
So fuck yah, tell her. Make a throw away account – and watch the joy fade from your main account. ?
The immediate problem yes. But I do have other issues including complexly ptsd thanks to family that I have to deal with. I should start therapy again
You and your new girl are in a honeymoon phase, don’t be surprised if after awhile some of the traits that you didn’t like in your ex-wife show up in your new relationship. Nobody is perfect. Did you ever communicate or try to fix things with your ex before springing up a divorce? I’m just saying, maybe you aren’t perfect either. You did leave and if I were her I’d be a little hurt too that after only two months you’ve replaced your wife of 10 years.
Not the point dumbass
Let her go and walk away. She never wore it but they are dirty. I would walk away
Honestly? If I were her, I would think seriously about contacting the police if someone did that. It is very frightening.
Are you OK?
I’ll take the down votes on this but when is it not selfish? 5 kids? 4 kids? 3 kids? When did 6 kids become selfish? In the 90’s? 80’s? 70s? It wasn’t shitty planning, it was no planning. It was living life, fucking the women I love more than anyone could love her. I knew when she was ovulating by how horny I would get. We lived our love life through an animal type attraction, naturally, organically, and without the need of approval. Condoms suck when you want to make passionate love to your soul mate. We didn’t just fuck to get off we fucked to love each other, to grow together, to feel each other every way possible. Piss off you judgmental condescending asshat.
Why
I seriously would not speak to him without your gf around. Not in public, private, or through messages. It will only stir up the rumor one way or another and that will make it worse for your girlfriend. I would encourage her to have a conversation with her friend about how this made you uncomfortable and how it made her feel insecure in the relationship. If he invalidates her feelings, lies to her, or just generally makes her feel worse, try to support her in going low contact with him because no one needs friends who stir up unnecessary drama in their relationships.
To address “standing up for yourself,” don’t. Let people be wrong here. Focus in on your own relationship and the things that you can do rather than other people’s opinions. You can do everything right here and there will still be someone with the wrong idea about you.
Um yeah look, this clearly isn't working. I don't even understand how you ended up together. You clearly don't want to be married to someone like your wife and she clearly isn't happy being married to you. You don't have kids yet, I don't see a reason for you to stay together.
One person’s opinion does not mean it’s actually bad.
I’m basing my judgement on the way OP is speaking about the entire situation.
I said what I said ?
“Obviously wanting to cheat bc randomly asked to be single “ should be your tittle
A+ Response
Ewww – I'd dump him just for that.
It's naked to be “above” anyone with any kind of job while you're unemployed.
Hope you get things worked out, your other half sounds like a dingbat.
xx
Why were you 24 dating a 17 year old?
Wtf person are you with? Woman to woman divorce his ass. From other comments this just seems like abuse. No one who loves someone makes a list like this to give to them. They communicate that something bothering them not just push all the blame in a passive aggressive list.
Let's not encourage domestic violence.
So, he didn't give a specific reason, I take it. It sounds like you're just guessing. And the wording in your post is a bit confusing. Is he the one with a higher libido, or are you? Or were you saying that you think is about the same, but his Catholic upbringing has caused him to suppress it? Sorry if I'm asking too many questions, but having more answers gives me higher confidence in my advice.
How frequent are these recent texts? I ask because if they're infrequent enough, he might just be trying to maintain a friendship, which is what's implied when two people agree to keep in touch.
Have u asked her about how long she wants to wait to have sex? A year is a long time already and most people have sex by this time. Maybe she’s planning on waiting for marriage ?
Your mum would absolutely lose it if she ever went to places like Island, Denmark, Norway or Sweden where a lot of people have blonde hair and blue eyes.
So what are you actually talking about when you say that he's working on it and making progress?
Was going to chime in to mention this. Relatively common in the UK where I on-line.
Op, you need to cut yourself some slack. You are only human and it is natural you feel depressed and anxious.
I am not going to lie. First cut is the deepest. It will hurt for awhile. Right now, you need friends and family.
It is important to have friends even you are in a relationship. Try to contact some of your old friends. Try to divert your attention. Exercise, new hobby, etc.
With time, if you allow yourself, you will get better.
You need to understand that him coming over has virtually nothing to do with the actual stuff. He wants to get at YOU. Don’t let him.
Thank you. I’ve thought about your message yesterday and I realized that I just want peace and I want to live! happy on my own. I sat down and spoke with her how I felt and broke things off but she wants to keep talking about it. I’m so mentally drained. I just want this whole thing to end.
There are lots of couples out there who have been together much longer than you two who give out advice, so you've gotta figure out what would make people go to you guys who have little experience than the couple who have been married for a decade.
I would suggest that you check out 'The Gift of Fear''s chapters about stalking.
You and your husband should consider complete deletion/removal of social media for 3-4 months to see if that will break her stalking habit.
She may escalate, but the key thing is to completely ignore her and do not respond. Do log anything annoying that she does.
This happened to me 23M in high school I’m sorry it’s happened to you hopefully she realizes your worth as a friend
You are not compatible and you HATE this “open” bullshit. This reads like a hostage letter from an lds tangential cult.
as soon as he gets one it will get better
This is not how mental illness works.
This has been the longest relationship i've had so far
This is not a valid metric for relationship success.
It feels like he is not taking responsibility for his own problems or just ignoring them.
Of course he's not. You have no boundaries and you stay.
You're trying to force yourself to be in an “open” relationship when you aren't comfortable with while your mans fucking other women. He has absolutely no interest in, or respect for you or this relationship. You are reflecting all of the issues inward and internalizing them as though there is something inherently wrong with you that you can change to “save it”, to make him happy, to save him. You will never be asked to change, made to feel you have to change for someone who loves you.
This is an emotionally and psychologically damaging and abusive relationship for you. This is something you chose, and then chose to continue. It's important to understand why because the behavior you're accepting, is so far from normal. Everything about this is unhealthy for you, it's codependent and toxic. You deserve much, much better than what you're telling yourself you deserve and what you're settling for.