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Date: October 11, 2022
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Yes, in hindsight I agree and made a further comment which the OP has replied to. Thank you for your response and positive response and apologies Have a great Friday:)
And be a support system to her if you can be. In this situation offering her your sofa to stay on would go a long way.
You have to tell your wife, cause if she finds out you kept it from her it'll make things much worse, especially if she hears it from her sister.
Seconded on changing the locks. Maybe he went through her stuff while she was gone.
“Hey babe. I love you and want you to be happy. I am looking forward to the trip in a few months with everyone but I had intended this next trip to just be the two of us. I was pretty surprised when you said you invited your kid/SO. I’d really prefer that this trip be just us but now I feel kind of cornered like if I say no to them coming I’m the asshole. So…what do you recommend?”
And if him going to them and saying “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this trip was supposed to be just the two of us this time and shouldn’t have extended an invite” is too much? Then maybe cancel it and replan or cancel the other trip or be sure you aren’t staying at the same place or whatever.
It’s pretty rude to invite people on a vacay without discussing with the planner. But as your next trip is planned with them? Maybe he assumed it was cool.
Right because being lied to about wanting kids to get you to stay in a relationship with them is just “hurt feelings”?
You have a decision to make. Which do you value more: your girlfriend dressing in a way you, personally, approve of, or your relationship?
You cannot control how she dresses, and attempts to do so will both be seen to be and be controlling —it's definitely emblematic of a crappy, objectifying “this is my property” attitude to women. All you can control is your own behavior.
Which means your choice is either make and forever hold your peace with it, or break up because you're incompatible.
TL;DR: Your GF is a whole-ass Person in her own right. If you don't like what she does, break up. If you want to keep the relationship, learn to deal with what she does.
Everyone can get angry and upset, yes he has anger issues and can say mean things but so can we all when we get upset, some people get upset more often than others. Doesn’t change the person he is. But I also understand what you’re saying. I don’t want to subject him to a child, I want a child and I want to be a mom and I want a good father for my child but we can’t always control that
Contacting her won't do any good. Go no contact. Work on yourself and talk to your therapist.
Lots of men don't show their true nature until after they have kids, because the woman is now trapped in this hideous relationship and they feel like they can't leave.
I would be a lot more upset if someone knew and didn’t tell me and I had a legit illness and he gave me an STD that worsened it because I’m skeptical that he’s consistently wrapping up.
Then break-up? Seriously. You’re not married, you have no kids, you probably don’t share a house or finances. It’s not working, just be mature and accept you don’t like or trust him. Could he be married? Have secret kids? He’s 34…