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That ain't friendship, that's being an orbiter. I'm a man and have male best friends, and guess what I'm not or ever have been in love with any of them. That's friendship.
You're really going to have to understand and reflect on your own intent and agenda you have with this “friendship” and see what it is you want and need, instead of whatever mental charade you have going on.
If you wanted to date her, why not just date her? The person your lying to isn't just her, it's yourself. Treat yourself better than this man.
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This is a scam. He is a con.
Well, if you are being mugged by the same person every day in a public space, during the day and refuse to not only contact authorities, but to even show you are upset about being mugged while living in a first worlds country then yes I am about to do a lot of victim blaming here, because it can absolutely be stopped, and such person is choosing not to do it.
I am petty and, being subjected to abuse, kinda cold-hearted when it comes to emotional blackmail.
And this is emotional blackmail at it's finest.
Let's be honest, even a gun is not responsible for the person holding it. And you are holding nothing. And, for sure, your are not even a gun, mkay.
You are not responsible for his decisions or indecisions. He's an adult and as his adult decision he chose to blackmail you emotionally. At this point, I won't even consider that he's doing it unknowingly.
This is not okay. Add this to all his other problems and we can see a person who chose to stay the way he is and act the way he does. Depression does not equal anger management issues and it definitely does not give him any permission to act out the way he does.
Have you ever thought what measures such people can resort to? Anger issues are one of the most scary out there – you'll never know what will set those people off and how they will act.
What if he decides to take you with him in one of those anger episodes?
Report your husband to mental facilities/authorities – it's not your job to torment yourself to keep this man in check.
Report and run away.