From your post it doesn't sound like quitting your job and moving to TN is in the cards for you, at least not in the immediate future. (Which honestly is probably smart, leaving a dream job for a six-month old relationship is a risk to say the least.) So I'd start with that. “I really love my new job. We're starting to plan our projects I've been put on some long-term projects, and I see myself staying here for at least a year or more. This got me thinking about our relationship, especially since we're currently long-distance. Have you thought about this at all?”
If he says no, well, he's not thinking long-term. It would be totally fair for him to want to take things as they come; similarly, it would be totally fair for you to not want to commit to long-distance with no clear end date. All you (both) can do really is be honest with each other.
At the time I was seeing a counsellor and when I'd talk about it she'd say that maybe I shouldn't have got back with her and that it seemed like a step back.
So…you quit seeing your counselor because they gave you some of the world's best advice, which is online you life through the windshield, not the rear view mirror? Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater…
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you're heathy enough for a serious relationship. You seem really unhappy and unsure of yourself and your relationship suffered because of it, which means future relationships will, too, until you get yourself together.
You need to, as a first priority, stop thinking about any kind of relationship and get back into therapy. Think about it…if you're still in the mental state that caused the problems in this relationship and you've quit therapy, so what makes you think the outcomes will be any different? It's almost impossible to go back into an old failed relationship and change the underlying patterns under the best of circumstances, let alone if one or both parties is unhealthy. That's why people always say “don't talk to your ex.” Going back into a failed relationship almost never works.
I've never cared about anyone as much as her and I doubt I ever will.
This is the biggest crock of bullshit that young people tell themselves. The last love is the best love and the love of your life. That's complete and utter bullshit. If you talk to people older than you who have lived and loved and lost and loved again, the later loves are usually better because you grow and mature and are more capable of deeper love than you are in your 20s. Don't cling to something dysfunctional because you're afraid that you've peaked romantically–you haven't.
If you care about this woman, you'll stop putting your fear over her wellbeing. Focus on your personal growth and healing and you'll both be better for it.
Jealousy is not a sign of deep love or commitment. It is a character flaw. So if she only likes you when you're threatening to beat up every guy who speaks to her you're just with someone who has a lot of problems.
So you married someone incompatible who doesn’t like to listen to your wants and needs? He doesn’t sound like he treats you like a princess
From your post it doesn't sound like quitting your job and moving to TN is in the cards for you, at least not in the immediate future. (Which honestly is probably smart, leaving a dream job for a six-month old relationship is a risk to say the least.) So I'd start with that. “I really love my new job. We're starting to plan our projects I've been put on some long-term projects, and I see myself staying here for at least a year or more. This got me thinking about our relationship, especially since we're currently long-distance. Have you thought about this at all?”
If he says no, well, he's not thinking long-term. It would be totally fair for him to want to take things as they come; similarly, it would be totally fair for you to not want to commit to long-distance with no clear end date. All you (both) can do really is be honest with each other.
At the time I was seeing a counsellor and when I'd talk about it she'd say that maybe I shouldn't have got back with her and that it seemed like a step back.
So…you quit seeing your counselor because they gave you some of the world's best advice, which is online you life through the windshield, not the rear view mirror? Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater…
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you're heathy enough for a serious relationship. You seem really unhappy and unsure of yourself and your relationship suffered because of it, which means future relationships will, too, until you get yourself together.
You need to, as a first priority, stop thinking about any kind of relationship and get back into therapy. Think about it…if you're still in the mental state that caused the problems in this relationship and you've quit therapy, so what makes you think the outcomes will be any different? It's almost impossible to go back into an old failed relationship and change the underlying patterns under the best of circumstances, let alone if one or both parties is unhealthy. That's why people always say “don't talk to your ex.” Going back into a failed relationship almost never works.
I've never cared about anyone as much as her and I doubt I ever will.
This is the biggest crock of bullshit that young people tell themselves. The last love is the best love and the love of your life. That's complete and utter bullshit. If you talk to people older than you who have lived and loved and lost and loved again, the later loves are usually better because you grow and mature and are more capable of deeper love than you are in your 20s. Don't cling to something dysfunctional because you're afraid that you've peaked romantically–you haven't.
If you care about this woman, you'll stop putting your fear over her wellbeing. Focus on your personal growth and healing and you'll both be better for it.
You say “it’s over, this is not up for discussion”, and you block him everywhere. Do not respond to any of his attempts to drag it out.
Jealousy is not a sign of deep love or commitment. It is a character flaw. So if she only likes you when you're threatening to beat up every guy who speaks to her you're just with someone who has a lot of problems.
I never track her period and I never talked to her about her period.