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Dont find happiness in others to make yourself happy. You are actually making scenarios in your head that makes you like her more and more.
What i suggest Is that you should just be direct and go with the flow. The more you abstain from revealing , the more scenarios you make and you will just hurt yourself
Oh my God he's known her since she was ELEVEN? This is very creepy and predatory.
He's disgusting.
I almost always councel to not contact the spouse/gf but in this case I think you should. Lead with the fact that you too were deceived and that you now know what a practiced liar he is.
This, and, his unwillingness to include her in his social media presence is… sketchy to me. Like, I get not being into social media, but I don’t get deliberately not including my partner in mine.
OP are you part of his real-life social circle? Like, do you know his friends and they know you?
It doesn’t sound like this is a new career path for your husband, so you were well aware of his schedule before having a baby. And from what you said, you both get two days with your son while the other is working. The only difference is your husband is out of town and sleeps alone in a hotel room while you are home with your son. Is all this correct so far?
So really your resentment is about that one night on a weekend where he gets a bed to himself and is off of daddy duty. Well, how about on a night when he’s not working you get a room somewhere and have a you-night? It’s not wrong to need and/or want alone time. And eventually your husband may get tired of that kind of work, as it can be a lot and it’s taking him away from his family, and want to slow down to just teaching locally.
I could try, in a pm you mean?