Gross men learn to have a 'sweet side' or else no woman would let them close enough to sexually assault her. You know when you hear people in an abusive relationship say 'oh he was so kind, and then we got married/moved in together/had a baby and it was like a switch flipped…'? They were never sweet or kind, they were faking it until they got someone trapped. This guy you went out with just skipped a bunch of steps.
Because with two people already angry and arguing, adding cops to the mixture these days will likely end up with someone dead or taken to jail, which jeopardizes their livelihoods and causes more dysfunction. I'd rather leave during a heated argument than calling the cops to insure that one of us is going to jail ans someone will have to post bail.
YES if you are in danger it is better to call 911 for help, especially if that danger is coming from a partner. But if you know you and your partner argue like that sometimes and you know that it'll likely just end with one of you storming off and leaving, Why would you call the cops to take someone to jail? If you asked cops in a situation like that, “why are they there?” Most of them will be honest and tell you that they are their to make sure the people that called are safe and to take someone to jail if need be. This is not hidden knowledge.
If two people are angry, and arguing it's even less likely that they'll be able to keep their stories straight for when the cops start to ask questions, which will lead to someone being arrested. Please be clear in what you are saying.
Again, she can encourage him to get medical help without necessarily remaining married to him. He is not owed a continued intimate relationship with OP after being a terrible partner for literally decades.
“In sickness and in health” shouldn't mean “being a doormat and enduring a bad marriage forever”.
He's probably a mixture of sad, scared, and angry, and feeling like he's losing control. So focusing on every little stupid thing might be a way for him to feel like he's still in control in some way. My dad got like this after he received his cancer diagnosis. He needed time to process it and it was his way of lashing out, I suppose.
Maybe you and your mom can talk to him and tell him how his actions are making you guys feel, fully understanding that it's not all about you. Maybe even suggest therapy for him, if he'd be open to it.
Ask her, “what's your goal in berating me and mocking me? Do you believe this will effect positive change?” Then ask her as someone who should be your lover AND friend what's really going on. Good luck to you both.
Everybody has a past. Part of the problem is you have seen it, and those images won't go away. Some people can handle it, some can't. Reddit is littered with stories where it ended the relationships. Maybe even worse than seeing it is she wasn't honest about her past. This is like a nuclear bomb going off in your relationship now. Earning the trust back will be rough. I don't think I could stay in a relationship where someone has porn out for public access and wasn't upfront about it in the beginning of the dating phase.
My partner is exactly the same. I'm stuck because we now have a child and a house together.
They don't change. Counselling won't help because it is a part of their personality.
I bet your 'perfect' times together involve him love bombing you, complimenting you and spoiling you. And I can guess that even on your great days together you are wary of what you say and do incase you inadvertently offend or 'emasculate' him.
If you stay with him be prepared to deal with this for the rest of your life, because this is who he is. You can't change that. Trust me, I tried. Now it's too late.
Ffs OP. Yes, what happened to your partner is bad. But she was 14! What happened to her for her to be so sexualised at such a young age? She was also a child and YOU DON'T KNOW HER STORY. You're calling her a “disgusting bitch” for something that your partner said that he was okay with at the time.
I'm not saying that it was okay. Support your partner. Help him through what he is going through. But leave her out of it. I understand that you're upset, but threatening to call her out on social media for a consentual sexual act between two underage people does not speak well of you.
I would tell them you need it in your name for tax purposes, say your accountant recommend it
Gross men learn to have a 'sweet side' or else no woman would let them close enough to sexually assault her. You know when you hear people in an abusive relationship say 'oh he was so kind, and then we got married/moved in together/had a baby and it was like a switch flipped…'? They were never sweet or kind, they were faking it until they got someone trapped. This guy you went out with just skipped a bunch of steps.
Aw girl… we’ve all been there. He’s using you. Say no to sex and see how quickly he changes his tune.
Because with two people already angry and arguing, adding cops to the mixture these days will likely end up with someone dead or taken to jail, which jeopardizes their livelihoods and causes more dysfunction. I'd rather leave during a heated argument than calling the cops to insure that one of us is going to jail ans someone will have to post bail.
YES if you are in danger it is better to call 911 for help, especially if that danger is coming from a partner. But if you know you and your partner argue like that sometimes and you know that it'll likely just end with one of you storming off and leaving, Why would you call the cops to take someone to jail? If you asked cops in a situation like that, “why are they there?” Most of them will be honest and tell you that they are their to make sure the people that called are safe and to take someone to jail if need be. This is not hidden knowledge.
If two people are angry, and arguing it's even less likely that they'll be able to keep their stories straight for when the cops start to ask questions, which will lead to someone being arrested. Please be clear in what you are saying.
what is the absolute fuck?
Again, she can encourage him to get medical help without necessarily remaining married to him. He is not owed a continued intimate relationship with OP after being a terrible partner for literally decades.
“In sickness and in health” shouldn't mean “being a doormat and enduring a bad marriage forever”.
He's probably a mixture of sad, scared, and angry, and feeling like he's losing control. So focusing on every little stupid thing might be a way for him to feel like he's still in control in some way. My dad got like this after he received his cancer diagnosis. He needed time to process it and it was his way of lashing out, I suppose.
Maybe you and your mom can talk to him and tell him how his actions are making you guys feel, fully understanding that it's not all about you. Maybe even suggest therapy for him, if he'd be open to it.
Ask her, “what's your goal in berating me and mocking me? Do you believe this will effect positive change?” Then ask her as someone who should be your lover AND friend what's really going on. Good luck to you both.
Bro keeps asking her to send nudes.
Everybody has a past. Part of the problem is you have seen it, and those images won't go away. Some people can handle it, some can't. Reddit is littered with stories where it ended the relationships. Maybe even worse than seeing it is she wasn't honest about her past. This is like a nuclear bomb going off in your relationship now. Earning the trust back will be rough. I don't think I could stay in a relationship where someone has porn out for public access and wasn't upfront about it in the beginning of the dating phase.
My partner is exactly the same. I'm stuck because we now have a child and a house together.
They don't change. Counselling won't help because it is a part of their personality.
I bet your 'perfect' times together involve him love bombing you, complimenting you and spoiling you. And I can guess that even on your great days together you are wary of what you say and do incase you inadvertently offend or 'emasculate' him.
If you stay with him be prepared to deal with this for the rest of your life, because this is who he is. You can't change that. Trust me, I tried. Now it's too late.
Ffs OP. Yes, what happened to your partner is bad. But she was 14! What happened to her for her to be so sexualised at such a young age? She was also a child and YOU DON'T KNOW HER STORY. You're calling her a “disgusting bitch” for something that your partner said that he was okay with at the time.
I'm not saying that it was okay. Support your partner. Help him through what he is going through. But leave her out of it. I understand that you're upset, but threatening to call her out on social media for a consentual sexual act between two underage people does not speak well of you.