This seems extreme and a stretch on what was actually posted.
OP didn't state she was stranded.
The mountain is not isolated, heliski etc. She was not on her own.
She was a proficient skier he was a beginner. This was never going to be a shared experience given OP wasn't teaching him to ski.
He had an accident, which OP tells us nothing about. Did several skiers collide and collectively taken to hospital for example.
All very well with hindsight, post medical care, “just a broken thumb” but no one knew that on the mountain and how they handled that accident we know nothing of and these would be question for OP to ask.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
I’m going to skim past the history of grooming because I know everyone else will cover that well. I’m going to focus on the age gap being a glaring issue for your “shared dream” of having kids in 5-6 years.
In 5 years you will be 25, not an unreasonable time to become a parent. He will be 45. When that child graduates high school he will be 63. What happens if you have trouble conceiving (he’s past his prime in that regard) and you don’t have your first until you’re 28? Do you want to have multiple children? How old will he be when the last one graduates high school? 70?
Because you’re talking about creating a shared future, one that involves bringing more humans into the mix, it’s worth considering how this 20 year gap could look down the line.
Why do you continue to be in a relationship with someone who not only cheated once, but cheated multiple times? And, to top that off, is continuing his dodgy behavior.
I'm bi, so I understand that once you hit 30, you're approaching your shelf-life in terms of marketability as a gay man. It's a twisted reality in such a youth-obsessed subculture, but it's reality nonetheless. Dating will not get any easier. Do you want to waste any more years of your best years with this guy?
Cut it off dude. Find someone who will respect you. You'll thank yourself later.
The key is radical honesty. I love you. I enjoy the band’s music. Unfortunately my anxiety overwhelms me and I can’t enjoy the music combined with the crowds anymore.
Suggestion smaller venues? My daughter has to wear beats noise canceling headphones to concerts.
We just got the chance for excellent seats for the foo fighters. We saw them 10 years ago. But we turned them down due to the crowds and anxiety. Right now especially people are experiencing more anxiety with crowds. Just letting you know your not alone.
Just because she just got married doesn’t mean she’s happy with it. Some people thrive in destroying other peoples happiness because they are miserable in theirs.
Sure 1 movie to bond and then your son will know not to trust his instincts./s obviously.
Everyone here is telling you the same thing. YOU FUCKED UP!! You brought a man you hardly know into your home and your kids life without any consideration for your child and you want to know how to make your son get over it. You can't make him get over it. You put your wants and some stranger's feelings over the real needs of your child. At best they get along in a few year's time. At worst you will have damaged your kid permanently. But I bet this guy won't be around in a few years.
It sounds like he’s using the porn as a maladaptive coping strategy to deal with the trauma of the sexual abuse. Unlike many other posts here, it isn’t affecting your sex life and he seems open and communicative with you.
I think he would greatly benefit from a therapist that specializes in sexual abuse trauma. They can help undue the compulsion to seek out this habit. It’s not uncommon for victims of SA to recreate their trauma in ways that puts them in control.
No one is perfect. Almost everyone I know has some kind of struggle or trauma or mental illness they deal with. Encourage him to take the steps towards healing, but also recognize you can’t walk this path for him. Be mindful of your own boundaries and make sure to take care of your own mental health.
Really, i have tried live help but I wasnt much… No one will understand. How can I get some help ?
Who cares? Rejection sucks. You have one life to live!. Stop thinking about what other people think about you. Go enjoy your life.
Do it and come back and update us because I’m invested
This seems extreme and a stretch on what was actually posted.
OP didn't state she was stranded.
The mountain is not isolated, heliski etc. She was not on her own.
She was a proficient skier he was a beginner. This was never going to be a shared experience given OP wasn't teaching him to ski.
He had an accident, which OP tells us nothing about. Did several skiers collide and collectively taken to hospital for example.
All very well with hindsight, post medical care, “just a broken thumb” but no one knew that on the mountain and how they handled that accident we know nothing of and these would be question for OP to ask.
This has to be fake. Or you’re writing Nick Cannon fanfic.
Hello /u/DepartmentFearless71,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She's lying
I’m going to skim past the history of grooming because I know everyone else will cover that well. I’m going to focus on the age gap being a glaring issue for your “shared dream” of having kids in 5-6 years.
In 5 years you will be 25, not an unreasonable time to become a parent. He will be 45. When that child graduates high school he will be 63. What happens if you have trouble conceiving (he’s past his prime in that regard) and you don’t have your first until you’re 28? Do you want to have multiple children? How old will he be when the last one graduates high school? 70?
Because you’re talking about creating a shared future, one that involves bringing more humans into the mix, it’s worth considering how this 20 year gap could look down the line.
Why do you continue to be in a relationship with someone who not only cheated once, but cheated multiple times? And, to top that off, is continuing his dodgy behavior.
I'm bi, so I understand that once you hit 30, you're approaching your shelf-life in terms of marketability as a gay man. It's a twisted reality in such a youth-obsessed subculture, but it's reality nonetheless. Dating will not get any easier. Do you want to waste any more years of your best years with this guy?
Cut it off dude. Find someone who will respect you. You'll thank yourself later.
The key is radical honesty. I love you. I enjoy the band’s music. Unfortunately my anxiety overwhelms me and I can’t enjoy the music combined with the crowds anymore.
Suggestion smaller venues? My daughter has to wear beats noise canceling headphones to concerts.
We just got the chance for excellent seats for the foo fighters. We saw them 10 years ago. But we turned them down due to the crowds and anxiety. Right now especially people are experiencing more anxiety with crowds. Just letting you know your not alone.
Yep. Fine not to be into that. Not fine to call it disgusting or the op for suggesting it.
DJ Khaled voice Another one
Just because she just got married doesn’t mean she’s happy with it. Some people thrive in destroying other peoples happiness because they are miserable in theirs.
Sure 1 movie to bond and then your son will know not to trust his instincts./s obviously.
Everyone here is telling you the same thing. YOU FUCKED UP!! You brought a man you hardly know into your home and your kids life without any consideration for your child and you want to know how to make your son get over it. You can't make him get over it. You put your wants and some stranger's feelings over the real needs of your child. At best they get along in a few year's time. At worst you will have damaged your kid permanently. But I bet this guy won't be around in a few years.
I have ADHD but your BF sounds like a lazy asshole more than anything
It sounds like he’s using the porn as a maladaptive coping strategy to deal with the trauma of the sexual abuse. Unlike many other posts here, it isn’t affecting your sex life and he seems open and communicative with you.
I think he would greatly benefit from a therapist that specializes in sexual abuse trauma. They can help undue the compulsion to seek out this habit. It’s not uncommon for victims of SA to recreate their trauma in ways that puts them in control.
No one is perfect. Almost everyone I know has some kind of struggle or trauma or mental illness they deal with. Encourage him to take the steps towards healing, but also recognize you can’t walk this path for him. Be mindful of your own boundaries and make sure to take care of your own mental health.