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Date: September 22, 2022
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I think your paranoia/high level of suspicion is a red flag. I’d tell him to run if someone was questioning him and not believing that he deleted the app when he said he did, AND showed her his phone and she still didn’t believe him.
Not enough detail to help. A partner deserves to know a diagnosis before committing but this sounds like drama.
So what changed after the four years? Do you know? And she loves you but do you love her? I bet it doesn’t feel like it, and I wouldn’t blame you if that’s the case. Even if you love someone, if they guilt you into giving up your needs for as much as she seems to do to you, that builds up a lot of frustration. And it’s hard to express let alone feel love for someone when you feeling frustrated.
i have always always always, ever since i was in high school, been completely against freshman/ senior relationships in high school. 14 vs 18 is entirely different. he used his higher status as an older kid in school to influence you into thinking he’s cool and jump on you as soon as you turned 18.
you'd know if she was interested in you. it wouldn't be hard to figure out because she would be giving you signs that she liked you. So think to yourself, are we just good friends or does she show interest in me in a romantic way?
That's what I just said.
You can't be with someone who is religious and not expect their life to not become part of yours. Imagine if you had kids. Are you going to exclude yourself from prayers before every meal for the rest of your life? Or never go to church with them?
Or force her not to take them to church with her?
It can't work.
They haven't even been together for a whole year.
They are not. Conception is when sperm and egg meet. Implantation is when the fertilized egg implants in the uterus.
Move on.
You don’t take being spit in the face for trying to be thoughtful and do something nice even if you didn’t do the best job.
If you are broken up with via social media, they have major problems for a variety of reasons. That’s a blessing you don’t have to deal with those anymore.
By the way, why are you interested in preserving people’s opinions of her that are literally false?
You aren’t tainting opinions, you’re revealing the truth.
No, she's just a woman who knows her worth, and TBF, she's probably out of his league 'cause OP sounds like a loser.
she made another comment about how I am “not open-minded and only want to keep her in a little box for myself anyway”.
That's the most concern part for me. She being interested in swing or maybe opening the relationship again is ok, because it dosen't mean she will cheat you, you said you're not interested in any of this and now is on her to decide to stay in this relationship. But she didn't think about what is more worth to her, she decided to talk bad about you like wanting a monogamous relationship is wrong or a method for you controle her… and that's is really wrong from her. I would not stay with someone that instead of owning their wishes they chose to gaslighting me.
I haven’t been with anyone other than him that’s why I’m so concerned he might have given it to me.
I’m sorry but it seems like you’re just a second option to her. She ended things with you bc she truly liked this guy. It was only after this guy didn’t want her that she came back to you. If the guy did want her, she would still be with him. You will never stop feeling resentment and doubt about her from now on. Leave her, you don’t deserve to be someone’s second option.