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Have to be absolutely silent CUM [Multi Goal]
Date: October 16, 2022
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Him having a crush is not a bad thing, it happens.
If he told her openly that is awkward for her but still not a bad thing by him.
You did say, however, that she admitted the guy tried to convince her to break up with you. This is him pushing boundaries and being disrespectful towards her relationship with you. I would want to know here how she reacted to that. Did she put him down and clarified she doesn't appreciate him trying to break you two up? Or did she let it hit and ignored it. If so you especially need to talk to her. Try to have her understand that her having friends is not a problem for you, but her choosing to hang out with people who are actively trying to sabotage your relationship is, and should be, red flag to you. It is her responsibility to nip that in the bud. Would she be fine with you having a friend who keeps trying to come onto you or convince you to dump her? I doubt it. Make it clear you expect her to stand up for your relationship and for you, as well as set boundaries with her friends and coworkers.
Going with her to the party is a decent idea, though. If your girl is very conflict avoidant setting boundaries may be very difficult for her. Her inviting you there may be her way of showing everyone that she is happily in a relationship and therefore off limits. But that's for you to decide how much you can expect from her, and what you are willing to tolerate.
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Tell that to his wife.
This!
Reddit is going to say to tell her but there is no skin on the game. You have a lot to lose here….perhaps best to move on and make better choices from here.
No worries. I just find his stance pretty jarring honestly. “You don’t see it so it doesn’t matter” is kind of missing the point when all the reasons you pointed out you want to do it have to do with other people and their behaviour, and not your own opinion of yourself.
Kinda feels like that well-intentioned but simultaneously crushing affection of someone who sees their partner as engaging in any form of self improvement as “indicating they don’t love themselves properly” which is honestly really condescending.
Marriages are tax contracts. It is business.
A fair and measured response, it's honestly good you've thought it through.
They did keep it hidden. OP spent a vast majority of his life having no idea. He found out because he decided to follow his mom and spy on her. It’s not like she brought these men back to their home. Children don’t get to dictate the sex life of their parents, it does not work that way.
Can you talk to his family about your concerns?
The “you dodged a bullet” advice is so shit. It's the same thing as saying, “this really upsetting thing happened to you, but you should be grateful!” OP is hurt. Yes, there is technically an upside that something like this could've happened down the road, but OP isn't focused on that. They are focused on the loss of the possibility of a really good relationship. Rather than trying to force them to think about the situation as a moral superior, we should console them and tell em, more fish in the sea. They're 20, there will be several more opportunities.
Dawg, how the fuck at 31 years old are y'all still entertaining high school level drama like this?
Tell Bob and his wife to fuck off and that they're uninvited, all they're bringing to the table is stress for your wife on what should be a wonderful day for both you and her to celebrate coming together as a married couple.
I'm turning 30 this year and I've cut off so many sources of negativity. No time for that shit.
Talk to him and see if he is up to it. Also does he know you talk to his brother thar much.
Why did he have to pospone starting his set of rotations and why did he drop out of working in you dr office ?