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Lacey, 48 y.o.
Location: USA
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Lacey
Date: October 10, 2022
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Your ex was an asshole. But emotionally dumping on your gf is making you toxic as well. I get it completely though because you want to make sure that you are heard and that you aren’t being treated like you were. Therapy would and should become your best friend though when it comes to your ex. You need to finally heal from all the pain you have.
If you talk about your past and if your ex is part of what is happening, just pretend that ex wasn’t involved. For example you, ex, jack and Jill did something fun and you want to tell your gf about that experience, erase ex from the story. It may help you as well to do it as a way for ex not to matter anymore.
Your gf’s reaction about having something special with ex is extreme though. The only special you had was a special kind of torture. Like who the hell tells someone to finish the job! The answer is an asshole who didn’t love you. Your gf is the one who you finally have something special with and hopefully it stays this way.
Worst part is she knew him since he and I were nine years old.
One day the people you love are going to disappoint you and the answers won't seem so black and white anymore. I'm sure you're a good person, but what you're describing as “morally rigid” reads a lot like young, inexperienced and judgmental. If you're prepared to judge and punish everyone you know, chances are you're going to end up alone. But if you insist…
wrong should be brought to justice and/or punished.
Mitigating factors, that's the part you're missing. You can't decide a fair punishment unless you account for them.
So you're an independent dependant with not enough savings to leave someone living his own life separately with you? Sounds like a headache. Sit down and talk a plan out with him and if sitting and talking is too naked then maybe he isn't the right partner for you right now and it's time to cut off the benefits of the relationship for him. Sleep on the couch etc. If he understands cars and not relationships it's obvious which he'd choose so helping develop him would only benefit you in the long-run.
It's good to forgive them, but that doesn't mean you have to take people back. The people calling you names at the end are gaslighting you. If it's your ex and former friend….consider that a double helping of disrespect.
I agree her actions come off immature to me as well. However she is surprisingly very mature and rational with most things in life and is a naturally empathetic person. Could she just be immature in relationships from lack of experience in long-term relationships?
I would say she doesn't care for me, but she tells me every day how happy she is and how she's never been in such a thoughtful, loving relationship. She's very into me physically and we get along well so I'm not sure why she would treat me like this. I have no idea where her head's really at but don't think she realizes these small things matter.
Yeah, my husband semi-jokes about that, too. I just tell people upfront that I play soccer so they don't get the wrong idea.
And if they play the line “oh I just want to make sure you are someone I want to be serious with” and then strings you along for months without any changes is complete BS! Don’t fall for it! Move on!