The word evidence was used in quotes for a reason.
Read…
Think…
The ability to see an image taken in the past is an artifact of the modern technological world.
There is nothing in the natural world that would prepare anyone for this occurrence.
In the natural world, the only way to see something is to witness it in real time.
In the technological world, it is possible to capture images in the past, preserve them, and display them in the future.
OP's mechanisms that would protect him from raising another man's offspring have been highjacked by his girlfriend's former lover.
He did this deliberately.
With his higher order brain function, he is intellectually aware that his girl did not cheat, that does exactly nothing to reset older, lower order brain functions that take any stimuli to the visual cortex as bearing witness to a real time occurrence.
That is how images taken in the past can be used to simulate the experience of being cheated on.
OP can't think his way out of this.
All he can do is accept that unsought feelings of disgust and despair are the price of this relationship.
Given how many in this forum have responded to his very real distress, I think he might be better off just keeping his misery to himself.
Idk, dude. I've read several novels that have sex scenes in them, and I read the novels for the story and the characters, not the sex. And no, I didn't get turned on by the smut. I don't think it's the same as porn at all unless the books are entirely only sex. As someone else mentioned, I would compare these books to a movie or show that has sex in it, not porn.
You are worried about your dog, but you have a baby in the house who is being exposed to this animal abuse and volatile man. You have no business putting your baby in harm's way by forcing them to on-line in an abusive home. Your child has no way to escape or make decisions for themselves. Your selfishness of needing to be with this man will result in anxiety in your child, and mental health issues along with behavioural problems.
Children only have one chance to have their brains develop in a healthy way. You exposing your child to this man will cause life long issues. I grew up with a dad like that. My mental health as an adult is fucked because I'm stuck in fight or flight mode from my dad being unpredictable.
And you better believe that if your bf can beat a dog, he can beat on your child too. And scream at them, and throw things across the room to smash them. He will terrify you child the same way the poor poor dog is terrified. Stop chosing your boyfriend, and chose your child's wellbeing. You want your kid turning out as abusive and fucked up as your boyfriend? Cos that's the example you are providing for your child right now, and you refusing to leave teaches your baby that abusive behaviour is acceptable.
As for your other problem, it seems your gf is just not that interested in sex. She may be asexual or just very religious or something. It doesn’t matter. You’re both young and if this relationship no longer fulfills your expectations, it is reasonable to try to break up on good terms.
Let me come from the male side of things as my situation is very similar to yours.
As a guy, the dirty/clean threshold is much lower. It means most things look fine until they are really dirty. This means by the time something looks dirty enough for me to clean, my wife has torn her hair out at the stress.
My wife has been very cross at me for the same issue. She's threatened to leave because she just was sick of it. Because I love her, I'm trying to improve on the housework front
Im not a lazy person and I'll assume that's not the case for your partner either, it is just an issue with tolerance and visibility. How I solve this issue is that I'll just have a personal chore table: mow the lawn every fortnight, vaccum and mop every week rubbish everyweek, laundry every couple of days. Bathroom everyweek etc.
In terms of physical workload, I don't mind doing more than half because I know there's lots of stuff that I don't see and my wife takes care of them. And if I think it's more than half it'll probably still be about equal.
I hope you can use some of my experience with your relationship as its definitely an important issue, and your relationship is worth working for.
If you love your husband and you believe he loves you, work on your marriage.
The word evidence was used in quotes for a reason.
Read…
Think…
The ability to see an image taken in the past is an artifact of the modern technological world.
There is nothing in the natural world that would prepare anyone for this occurrence.
In the natural world, the only way to see something is to witness it in real time.
In the technological world, it is possible to capture images in the past, preserve them, and display them in the future.
OP's mechanisms that would protect him from raising another man's offspring have been highjacked by his girlfriend's former lover.
He did this deliberately.
With his higher order brain function, he is intellectually aware that his girl did not cheat, that does exactly nothing to reset older, lower order brain functions that take any stimuli to the visual cortex as bearing witness to a real time occurrence.
That is how images taken in the past can be used to simulate the experience of being cheated on.
OP can't think his way out of this.
All he can do is accept that unsought feelings of disgust and despair are the price of this relationship.
Given how many in this forum have responded to his very real distress, I think he might be better off just keeping his misery to himself.
A real counselor will never tell her “her actions are extremely toxic.” Counseling does not work that way.
Idk, dude. I've read several novels that have sex scenes in them, and I read the novels for the story and the characters, not the sex. And no, I didn't get turned on by the smut. I don't think it's the same as porn at all unless the books are entirely only sex. As someone else mentioned, I would compare these books to a movie or show that has sex in it, not porn.
Look, you need to leave this dude, and leave this area and never come back.
This is what he should've said to you. Sorry about all these other people… you did nothing wrong
Definitely wrecked me. That plus the complete unwillingness to even discuss a change was jarring. Thanks for sharing your opinion!
Yeah this is made up info, there is no HPV test for asymptomatic men.
You are worried about your dog, but you have a baby in the house who is being exposed to this animal abuse and volatile man. You have no business putting your baby in harm's way by forcing them to on-line in an abusive home. Your child has no way to escape or make decisions for themselves. Your selfishness of needing to be with this man will result in anxiety in your child, and mental health issues along with behavioural problems.
Children only have one chance to have their brains develop in a healthy way. You exposing your child to this man will cause life long issues. I grew up with a dad like that. My mental health as an adult is fucked because I'm stuck in fight or flight mode from my dad being unpredictable.
And you better believe that if your bf can beat a dog, he can beat on your child too. And scream at them, and throw things across the room to smash them. He will terrify you child the same way the poor poor dog is terrified. Stop chosing your boyfriend, and chose your child's wellbeing. You want your kid turning out as abusive and fucked up as your boyfriend? Cos that's the example you are providing for your child right now, and you refusing to leave teaches your baby that abusive behaviour is acceptable.
Your gf is apparently a r/relationship_advice mod.
As for your other problem, it seems your gf is just not that interested in sex. She may be asexual or just very religious or something. It doesn’t matter. You’re both young and if this relationship no longer fulfills your expectations, it is reasonable to try to break up on good terms.
Drug use is the glue for lots of relationships idk what you’re on about
Forger toilet paper, I don't think he even wipes his own ass.
Let me come from the male side of things as my situation is very similar to yours.
As a guy, the dirty/clean threshold is much lower. It means most things look fine until they are really dirty. This means by the time something looks dirty enough for me to clean, my wife has torn her hair out at the stress.
My wife has been very cross at me for the same issue. She's threatened to leave because she just was sick of it. Because I love her, I'm trying to improve on the housework front
Im not a lazy person and I'll assume that's not the case for your partner either, it is just an issue with tolerance and visibility. How I solve this issue is that I'll just have a personal chore table: mow the lawn every fortnight, vaccum and mop every week rubbish everyweek, laundry every couple of days. Bathroom everyweek etc.
In terms of physical workload, I don't mind doing more than half because I know there's lots of stuff that I don't see and my wife takes care of them. And if I think it's more than half it'll probably still be about equal.
I hope you can use some of my experience with your relationship as its definitely an important issue, and your relationship is worth working for.