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Lillie, ❤️?, 23 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Lillie, ❤️?
Date: October 5, 2022
Lillie, ❤️?, 23 y.o.
Location:
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You sound fucking disgusting to me
Do you intend to stand up for your husband at any point here?
If you're not ready to choose your husband first, over your father who is trying to destroy your relationship, you're not mature enough to be married.
the plan is to get me a place so I dont have to “deal” with his family and then see if things get better between us when I am not “in a bad mood” because of them.
tbh my gf would probably react the same way if I did that every morning. I’ve done small gestures and she always gets happy over them. Its just that I can’t find time for things rn and am always on the run
And it might be the story of 1949 that made them uncomfortable as well
“let's not do anything stupid, especially since we work together.”
I'll be brutally honest with you, if this is the main reason not to get together instead of you know the main reason being you're both IN A RELATIONSHIP than you'll lose them how you get them.
Do with that what you will.
Tell her what happened to lead to you finding out about it, and what you found out.
Don’t make assumptions or try to change up the language to make it sound better or worse. Just tell her what you know.
There’s lots of good advice but also be careful you’re not being naive. He has heaped praise on you. He is giving unprofessional compliments and flirting with you. This is not a man worrying about his marriage or career, perhaps because he doesn’t think he has to. Because he knows he can create something with those with less power and is untouchable. Because maybe he’s done this before and it means far less to him than you feel it does for you. If he cared for you, really, he wouldn’t be pursuing anything because of the catastrophic damage it could do to your life.
I feel like the main issue here is your insecurity and/or feelings towards you brother. Sounds a bit like jealousy or at least like you’re comparing yourself to him a lot. It sounds like there’s some level of insecurity/fear due to the fact that two of the most important people in your life seem to be close to your brother. How’s your relationship with him? Did your parents treat you equally growing up?
Why does the thing with A bother you? Is it mostly because as you said she told you before that she isn’t much into physical touch? If that’s the case, what’s the problem with that? I would say it’s mainly a you problem that you have to figure out. What about reframing the whole thing, and seeing it as all of the most important people in your life get along together well and are close. Couldn’t that be a good thing?
And I guess the other huge problem is that you seem to have a higher libido. But honestly, you should ask yourself if you can accept having very little sex in your relationship because I wouldn’t count on your gf’s libido changing. Sometimes two people are just incompatible in that regard.
I think I'll do that. As you said, she doesn't need to know details, but that might help. I already spoke with two of my friends that'll help me shut down any discussion or joke, but shutting it down from the source is good too. Thanks
So you started dating your fiancée when she was 18 years old, we’ve survived a pandemic, and she had a whole baby, and you’re upset that she doesn’t look 18 anymore?
Your post is dripping with condescension and disrespect. There’s no hope for this relationship when you’re using words like “gut,” “lazy,” “glutton,” “eats like a child” to describe the woman you’re supposed to be in love with. At this point it would be kinder to break up and transition to a coparenting relationship. You’re being crueler to her now by pretending to love her while being secretly disgusted by her. Over time you’ll only grow to resent her even more for not being the person you want her to be. Give both of you a chance to be happy apart.
I don't think there's much danger of him picking up the slack, but I wouldn't promise something I have no intention of delivering.
11 years…. why would anything change now?
If you want a tattoo when you’ve been thinking about it since college, like probably 18ish, just get it.
Put the cat, its food, and its litter box in her room and shut the door.
My only thing is that with kids involved, don’t mention divorce for a whole year once a kid is born. After that, evaluate. Work on yourself in the meantime and if shit doesn’t improve in the next 7 months then pull the trigger on separation.
A combination of respecting and appreciating her without him saying “I love you so much” probably bottlenecked his emotions and they came bursting.
Think about what you want. If it's him you don't have to leave but you do have to talk to him about it.
I’m so sorry. That must’ve been devastating to find out.
Take time to heal. And surround yourself with a good support system who will allow you to get some alone time each week. You’ll need it.
I also think that you’ll find over time that no longer having to please this awful man will be one less burden on your time and mental space. There is freedom in that.
Please don’t concern yourself with how he will be spending his time. It will only lead to heartache and negative spirals. Let him online his life and continue to be a jerk who makes mistakes. You don’t have to be a part of those anymore. Just coparent the best you can and focus on you and your kids.
My sister had a similar situation and is now happily married and pregnant with number 3. I’ve literally never seen her so happy in all my life. He is so right for her. And it took a marriage and 2 kids for her to realise that her first husband never was. She tried so nude to make it work and hold it all together. Now she is part of a team and realised what she was missing that whole time. Her new husband is the best stepdad and loves her kids so much.
There is so much hope. But right now you’re in the trenches. You’re grieving your marriage and the future you imagined. Heal. Then move forward. You deserve to heal and become an even better version of yourself after this.
We would be getting our own place, not with his current roommate. But he feels like we should not on-line together until engaged
I dont want to throw away 8 years and everything me and her have accomplished.
I'm sorry that happened. First off it seems promising that you are taking it seriously and being proactive about this. I hope you've apologized to your wife and taken full responsibility for getting physical.
That said domestic abuse is typically characterized by a pattern of behavior rooted in the desire to feel like you have the power and control in a relationship. If you genuinely want to nip this in the bud I think you should do some serious introspection about your relationship – do you feel like your anger was justified? Is there any part of you that feels like she deserved to be shoved? Do you tend to explode verbally if you don't get your way? Do you feel like you know what's good for her better than she does? Etc… Abuse is not necessarily physical and there are typically behavioral signs before it escalates to getting physical.
If this was genuinely a one-time thing that happened in the heat of the moment then it sounds like more likely that therapy with a focus on anger management would help. Also having some empathy and compassion for her – how did this make her feel? I imagine she's pretty rattled. I think it would help to show her that you take this seriously and want to make sure it never happens again by showing her the proactive steps you're taking eg finding a therapist, trying to figure out what provoked such a strong response in you and how to redirect that anger, etc.