There's nothing you can reasonably do here, especially when he is taking zero steps to move his own life forward. He will be a giant drain if you bring him over. Your instincts are correct, don't do it.
And no I do not want to look good for myself.. we are a human we all make mistakes I have made many believe me is my second marriage. I have learned alot throughout life dont want to ruin my second marriage if you read what i wrote I have no friends to avoid problems with her…I have no one to talk to as for thats why im Here. Maybe your right maybe the “drink”… hey im old enough shes supposed to be my wife not my mom or my sitter. I can assure im not no crazy drunk.
Get the rest of your stuff out now so she isn't holding it over your head. You owe her nothing and you owe her no explanation as to why you broke up with her. Get your stuff and never look back.
Been in your shoes, albeit Anglican. Many ministers offer marriage sessions before the ceremony- if yours does, try it.
My husband and I had the same issue but we worked out it was our communication (isn’t it always). Sex had been a way for my husband to communicate passion and love and without it he struggled to display it in other ways. I felt he didn’t care as much and we fought a ton until we adjusted. Best of luck sorting it out.
She’s 33 and you’ve been with her 6 years. At this point if you’re not sure that you want to marry her then the answer is that you don’t. Let her go so she can find somebody who actually does want to marry her.
You do realize that prison may be on the table (tax evasion and defrauding the government) and your house is not your house, it doesn’t mean a damn thing that his name isn’t on the deed because you’re married and any equity is half his
Marriage is a business contract and part of that LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT is the assumption of each others debts and/or losses accrued during the marriage. Assets from before the marriage and inheritance are not marital property but anything acquired during it is. There’s a decent chance you will lose everything…including the house
I don’t think you appreciate the world of trouble you’re in right now
I feel like we must take OPs at their word when providing advice, otherwise we risk projecting. To assume there is some other underlying cause without supportive information I think undermines the purpose of this sub. I suppose I can understand if you see some tell-tale signs of a personal issue or condition with OP via their post, but for the life of me I can't see it or understand what it might be, even with the context of your replies.
You're an adult human being. It's up to you to gauge when you're being too much, and if you're not sure how to do this, not getting extremely drunk in social situations is a good start.
It honestly sounds like you're asking a lot of your bf, you acknowledge he goes above and beyond in all other bf categories, but it's still not enough. Honestly, this sounds like a you problem.
Absolutely! In addition to acne and burn treatment, clearing nasal passages, rejuvenating skin and hair growth, and any skin resurfacing. There’s so much plastic surgery can do for people, it can even help people with bad perspiration.
And I can relate. I’ve struggled with acne scarring and hyperpigmentation for years and am working with a plastic surgeon to help with promoting collagen in my skin. It’s been an emotional journey but one I’ve always wanted to do for myself. Happy to hear it was positive outcome for you.
It honestly sounds like you're bored and you have a fantasy of how you would like to be as a person, and you think that your husband is somehow putting a damper on things.
Ok, let's say your “authentic self” is to ride a motorcycle and get some tattoos… alright, so get a motorcycle and get a tattoo then. If he's not on board and fights you on it, then sure, maybe you two are drifting and down the line you get divorced. But if you leave him, not because you have actually made changes and it's not working out, but because you're bored and THINK you might make changes if you remove him out of the picture… I mean… I think you're making a mistake. And life is sometimes about embracing the mundane.
Girls and guys deal woth it differently. For girls it's a deep instant wound that last maybe a month or 2 usually. For guys it gets progressively worse before it gets better. Just do what you like doing and learn new skill or work on one you have now. Keep busy is the best way. Distraction is key. Eventually you'll end up being interested in someone else
If you still want to pursue her after she did this, give a sincere apology. I think her reaction is disproportionate, but you're still a really new person to her and this is a chance to show her you care about her feelings.
Say something along the lines of, “I am so sorry that I could not remember. I want you to know I still care about you, I just have a shitty memory.” Then say, “Things have gotten really intense between us so fast. I think we have a special connection, but I want to take some time to get to know you at a slower pace so it can sink in.” Then go on a date or two where you don't have sex or alcohol, and make a point to remember details about her.
One of the possibilities is she could be asexual. Either way it sounds like your sex drives don’t match, talk it out and if you can’t figure it out maybe a divorce is called for. You don’t want either of you to on-line an uncomfortable and unhappy life.
Hey 🙂 Grief has not one exact duration. Take your time. Try to focus on positive things and make a bucket list.
What do you want to reach, to experience, to do?
Travelling, waffle making workshop, learning a new instrument, learning another language (travelling), learn how to sail,….
You have no limits. You can do this. Get to know your new self.
Wishing you the best!
That’s not the way you do dates though,
Just taking them to places and doing the things that you want to do
There's nothing you can reasonably do here, especially when he is taking zero steps to move his own life forward. He will be a giant drain if you bring him over. Your instincts are correct, don't do it.
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And no I do not want to look good for myself.. we are a human we all make mistakes I have made many believe me is my second marriage. I have learned alot throughout life dont want to ruin my second marriage if you read what i wrote I have no friends to avoid problems with her…I have no one to talk to as for thats why im Here. Maybe your right maybe the “drink”… hey im old enough shes supposed to be my wife not my mom or my sitter. I can assure im not no crazy drunk.
Make sure you get checked for std.. you don't know how long he has been doing this
Get the rest of your stuff out now so she isn't holding it over your head. You owe her nothing and you owe her no explanation as to why you broke up with her. Get your stuff and never look back.
25 here. Do you really get over all your insecurities after 30? That doesn't sound right
Been in your shoes, albeit Anglican. Many ministers offer marriage sessions before the ceremony- if yours does, try it.
My husband and I had the same issue but we worked out it was our communication (isn’t it always). Sex had been a way for my husband to communicate passion and love and without it he struggled to display it in other ways. I felt he didn’t care as much and we fought a ton until we adjusted. Best of luck sorting it out.
She’s 33 and you’ve been with her 6 years. At this point if you’re not sure that you want to marry her then the answer is that you don’t. Let her go so she can find somebody who actually does want to marry her.
What is wrong with men honestly.
Yeah, I deleted my comment when I read yours. Thanks for pointing that out
You do realize that prison may be on the table (tax evasion and defrauding the government) and your house is not your house, it doesn’t mean a damn thing that his name isn’t on the deed because you’re married and any equity is half his
Marriage is a business contract and part of that LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT is the assumption of each others debts and/or losses accrued during the marriage. Assets from before the marriage and inheritance are not marital property but anything acquired during it is. There’s a decent chance you will lose everything…including the house
I don’t think you appreciate the world of trouble you’re in right now
Couple's therapy? 6 months in? Honey….
Your husband is a disgusting person. The path forward is going to be tough, I'm sure, but it will be worth it.
I feel like we must take OPs at their word when providing advice, otherwise we risk projecting. To assume there is some other underlying cause without supportive information I think undermines the purpose of this sub. I suppose I can understand if you see some tell-tale signs of a personal issue or condition with OP via their post, but for the life of me I can't see it or understand what it might be, even with the context of your replies.
Okay. I'm glad you're psychic so you could clear that up for me.
You're an adult human being. It's up to you to gauge when you're being too much, and if you're not sure how to do this, not getting extremely drunk in social situations is a good start.
It honestly sounds like you're asking a lot of your bf, you acknowledge he goes above and beyond in all other bf categories, but it's still not enough. Honestly, this sounds like a you problem.
I hear you ??thank you for being real about the situation
Go with actions. That's what is real. Lip service doesn't get you anywhere
Legal doesn’t mean moral or ethical.
Absolutely! In addition to acne and burn treatment, clearing nasal passages, rejuvenating skin and hair growth, and any skin resurfacing. There’s so much plastic surgery can do for people, it can even help people with bad perspiration.
And I can relate. I’ve struggled with acne scarring and hyperpigmentation for years and am working with a plastic surgeon to help with promoting collagen in my skin. It’s been an emotional journey but one I’ve always wanted to do for myself. Happy to hear it was positive outcome for you.
What does “authentic self” even mean???
It honestly sounds like you're bored and you have a fantasy of how you would like to be as a person, and you think that your husband is somehow putting a damper on things.
Ok, let's say your “authentic self” is to ride a motorcycle and get some tattoos… alright, so get a motorcycle and get a tattoo then. If he's not on board and fights you on it, then sure, maybe you two are drifting and down the line you get divorced. But if you leave him, not because you have actually made changes and it's not working out, but because you're bored and THINK you might make changes if you remove him out of the picture… I mean… I think you're making a mistake. And life is sometimes about embracing the mundane.
he sounds neurotic as hell, and a complete bore.
He took her to pick out a dog for his kids and she thinks it’s her dog too
So you're complicit in helping a man cheat on his girlfriend and you just put your job in jeopardy.
Stop hooking up with your unavailable manager and start looking for a new job. Make better decisions. Don't be a homewrecker.
Thanks so much! ☺️
Girls and guys deal woth it differently. For girls it's a deep instant wound that last maybe a month or 2 usually. For guys it gets progressively worse before it gets better. Just do what you like doing and learn new skill or work on one you have now. Keep busy is the best way. Distraction is key. Eventually you'll end up being interested in someone else
If you still want to pursue her after she did this, give a sincere apology. I think her reaction is disproportionate, but you're still a really new person to her and this is a chance to show her you care about her feelings.
Say something along the lines of, “I am so sorry that I could not remember. I want you to know I still care about you, I just have a shitty memory.” Then say, “Things have gotten really intense between us so fast. I think we have a special connection, but I want to take some time to get to know you at a slower pace so it can sink in.” Then go on a date or two where you don't have sex or alcohol, and make a point to remember details about her.
One of the possibilities is she could be asexual. Either way it sounds like your sex drives don’t match, talk it out and if you can’t figure it out maybe a divorce is called for. You don’t want either of you to on-line an uncomfortable and unhappy life.