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martinaroberts chat
Date: October 20, 2022
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So your sister was dating a guy who was over 30 when she was like 18, if I’ve done my math correctly. This means very likely she was manipulated and/or treated poorly by this person, or at least there was a very serious power imbalance. Healing from that is naked, and someone dying can make that more complicated. I really encourage you to show your sister more compassion.
Girl, you have a way bigger issue than if you should get his stepsis a present….
You need to walk away from him. This is beyond inexcusable. He made a choice to pay some to have sex with… not only in your home, but in your bed. He was clearly okay enough to make that call so don't fall into the “I can't make friends trap”. It's total bs. He knew what he was doing. This was intentional. He doesn't love you or respect you. He doesn't value you or your relationship. You deserve a partner in life that will worship the ground you walk on and not do stuff like this.
You assumed and you emotionally ignored her. Which in an open relationship is cheating.
I have no idea how it happened haha my app has been acting funny since Reddit was down the other day.
There is nothing we can say to help you
First off, I would suggest to break up. From what you described, she is a bit more of an adrenaline/endorphin junkie than you are, and that path leads to people who want very different things in a relationship and out of life.
If you break up now, there's a chance to save the friendship, and that's not a bad thing.
Secondly, I do feel it is incredibly unrealistic to expect one person to meet ALL of your physical, emotional, AND mental needs. Having a network of reliable friends is extremely important for mental health. What that network looks like can vary pretty widely from person to person, but no woman can be your everything, and you can't be someone else's everything.
Top of the list, yes. The only person on it, no.
It does seem a little sudden for her to spring all this on you out of apparently nowhere, but I wouldn't necessarily jump right to “she's cheating already!”. She may have met someone who's open relationship is working. She might have read a book on it. She might have gotten some REALLY shitty advice about “what all guys secretly want”.
I'd suggest finding out where this came from before making any irrevocable decisions, but be prepared with the idea that maybe the two of you don't really have compatible ideas about how relationships should be. If you're going to break it off, best to do it before the two of you get so mad it turns into a dumpster fire of a break up.
Everyone is covering the horrible removal of your agency and consent – which is a level of fucked up that just…floors me.
What I would like to point out is what that means he thought of you at the time it happened, as well as the other women. He thought deception was fine. He cared more about getting his brother's dick wet than whether you cared or consented. You didn't matter to him in those moments. You were drunk and they took advantage of you. Who cares if the relationship “wasn't serious back then” – what he did to you was serious no matter what.
You aren't an English final – you are a fucking PERSON.
Woosh right over your head smdh.
I never had any issues with UTIs because of sex. I don't remember ever peeing after sex I don't think I ever have. I usually pee before sex not after. I think I've had two in my entire life and I'm in my mid-50s. Some people are just more susceptible and could be other health issues that make it happen whether you have kidneys that don't fully function the way they should or a long urethra or a short urethra or whatever the case that makes it happen sometimes. Your boyfriend is acting like a childish 2-year-old. If he keeps us crap up you should just end the relationship because he's not supportive at all and certainly won't learn about what causes them and what to do to help not get them.