Make sure he won't have access to anything expensive or important of yours. Seems like the type to steal and sell things for money. Get packed up ahead of time. And don't come home from work.
If you agreed to a year for her to heal then it makes sense that she's taking that year? That's a different thing from “I need you to have a job before the end of a year.” IT seems like there's a very big gap between some of the things you are saying.
It might be worth revisiting that conversation and reminding her how important that is to you, that you don't really feel loved when she just tells you that.
Also if you are passive and don't ask for what you want and need, and don't clearly communicate what those expectations are, and then you are mad when your expectations aren't met, the person you should be mad at is you.
This is me, but 3 years and I’m middle aged. Also turned out my AH was a pathological liar and all around unfaithful, so there’s also that. Cheaters often project onto their partners. Either way, OP does not deserve his maltreatment or controlling and isolating behavior. Be free and stop walking on eggshells.
Specifically, she left you specifically so she could go sleep with someone else, and claim that it wasn’t cheating. But the bottom line is that she left you so she could sleep with this other person. So, if you are going to be dabbling in technicalities, you two are not actually together, and it’s entirely up to you whether you want to take her back. Personally, I wouldn’t. I have no time for nor interest in game-players.
I'm on his side for your attaching of all problems to an engagement ring.
But I'm not on the side of your relationship for a number of reasons, like how he's old enough to be your father, you wanted a white gold engagement ring, you're planning on getting married and having babies when you're only twenty years old, he bought you an engagement ring that costs less than a chill date night in most cities, so on and so forth.
finally a normal comment
Make sure he won't have access to anything expensive or important of yours. Seems like the type to steal and sell things for money. Get packed up ahead of time. And don't come home from work.
If you agreed to a year for her to heal then it makes sense that she's taking that year? That's a different thing from “I need you to have a job before the end of a year.” IT seems like there's a very big gap between some of the things you are saying.
It might be worth revisiting that conversation and reminding her how important that is to you, that you don't really feel loved when she just tells you that.
Also if you are passive and don't ask for what you want and need, and don't clearly communicate what those expectations are, and then you are mad when your expectations aren't met, the person you should be mad at is you.
The tears were genuine because she got caught. That’s all she was sorry for.
His loss
He doesn’t care about you why are you together
This is me, but 3 years and I’m middle aged. Also turned out my AH was a pathological liar and all around unfaithful, so there’s also that. Cheaters often project onto their partners. Either way, OP does not deserve his maltreatment or controlling and isolating behavior. Be free and stop walking on eggshells.
She left you.
Then she slept with someone else.
Specifically, she left you specifically so she could go sleep with someone else, and claim that it wasn’t cheating. But the bottom line is that she left you so she could sleep with this other person. So, if you are going to be dabbling in technicalities, you two are not actually together, and it’s entirely up to you whether you want to take her back. Personally, I wouldn’t. I have no time for nor interest in game-players.
I'm on his side for your attaching of all problems to an engagement ring.
But I'm not on the side of your relationship for a number of reasons, like how he's old enough to be your father, you wanted a white gold engagement ring, you're planning on getting married and having babies when you're only twenty years old, he bought you an engagement ring that costs less than a chill date night in most cities, so on and so forth.