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Date: October 15, 2022
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Why is he attending at all? Why are family members discussing what to spend on the nephew, who is innocent, but not what this will do to his daughter? Daughter that was abandoned by dad is expected to do what when dad and his new family shows up? Have you thought about how traumatic this will be for her? Poor kid.?
Hard to hear, but hear it well. Cut it off, you'll be miserable more often than not.
Do other things in life. Fill it with active hobbies and make some new friends
She didn't laugh at your issue though, she laughed because you stated the dead obvious that you've discussed and worked on for years, like it was a huge revelation. If you wanted to explain what you discovered, you needed to…you know…explain it. Lead with that you've been doing research, and here's what you found.
Tbh, I'm more on her side here than yours, because you sort of set her up to fail, then twisted her reaction to something it wasn't, which, of course she got defensive about, as it's a really unfair thing to think about her given the conversation.
They're your insecurities mate. She loves you, and wants to be with you, despite this. If that doesn't tell you what sort of woman she is, then us telling you that won't help either. Seek a therapist and a specialist, and if you still need to, discuss couples counseling with her.
So why take ghosting personally? High school friends drift apart all of the time. That's not unusual. We moved onto different lives. We had nothing in common anymore. I ghosted her because I didn't want it to turn into a relationship. Perhaps I could have better explained myself, but it's not unusual for high school friends to drift apart and reconnect later without taking it personally.
Thank you for jumping in with your story. I was beginning to wonder how we’ve become such a society of absolutes and no hope. It’s like just because some aren’t willing to put in the work no one should.
I was the same as you and knew I had to do whatever it took to provide for my family. It did suck, it sucked so bad at times I almost felt defeated. But I refused to be pressured and refused to give up. I haven’t been in Reddit long, but long enough to know that you get pretty beat up for shedding some light and giving alternatives.
I’ve recently moved to the beach myself, my car isn’t as nice as yours but still new, and I no longer have to worry about how I’m going to make ends meet. I’ve even got enough this year to have s proper family vacation after school lets out. It was a fight to survive at times but now I can look back and laugh at all those who doubted me and my abilities. And I can say I did it on my own. However I guess having free day care at my university was more help than I should have been allowed.
He is most likely not telling you the whole truth. He probably downplayed what happened. Meaning he told you enough to ease his guilt, but not enough to prompt you to leave him. He was already guilty of cheating by going to a hotel room and making out with another woman, so it doesn’t make sense that he would have stopped there- especially with alcohol lowering his inhibitions. Tell him that you have a right to know if he had sex (oral or penetrative) due to the risk of STD’s. Keep pressing him and I guarantee you will get the truth from him. Get tested regardless. You might also want to go thru his phone. Many people find the truth by looking at texts/emails/social media/hidden apps etc.
Why would ignoring it be more effective than talking about it? Unless you’re okay with her having whatever affairs she wants, you can’t just pretend it never happened.